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my wife is pregnant and all I feel is worried
(lemmy.world)
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this post was submitted on 25 May 2024
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They say a woman becomes a mother when she first feels the baby stirring in the womb, but a man only becomes a father once he sees the baby for the first time.
I'm not a bio parent myself, but if that stereotype is true I think you should expect some emotional discordance during this phase.
I think you aren't wrong to be worried, but I think if you focused your mind and energy on nesting and getting excited with your wife, it would help bridge the gap.
I'm 100% sure biology will win out and you will be changed forever when the baby does come
This is exactly right. It may not even be when you see your child’s face for the first time. It took a while for myself. But it happened and I don’t want to go back.
Just enjoy this time with your wife.
Except that isn't always the case.
Which isn't to discourage OP or anyone else, but to be realistic.
Postpartum depression is real, as are many other mental health and other issues that can impact how and even if a parent can bond with their biological child.
Far too many parents never do (or do to some extent, but resent their child for "ruining their life").
Ignoring or minimising these very real and very serious problems only serves to make those who struggle with them feel worse, and less able to reach out for help (because if biology should "100% win out" but it doesn't for them, then they feel like they must be "broken", rather than biology simply not being 100% certain of anything) which in turn often leads to neglectful and/or abusive relationships with their kids (and others).
It sounds like OP, like most people tbf, especially those facing major life changes, could benefit from therapy to help prepare for and maintain not only the parent-child relationship, but their relationship with their partner, too.