You see, they hide the fact that the earth is flat because they can hang "space" lasers from the firmament and tell everyone it's impossible while burning down all of the houses that aren't 66.6hz devil blue without suspicion.

The issue with the Romans is that without the Roman empire we don't have the evil Roman Catholic Church. Big Hat is in league with them because the "church" is the single largest purchaser of Pope hats in the world. Follow the money! Do your own research! Evangelicals are the only ones who don't have lasers or wear hats so that's the one true religion. There's no economic reason for evangelicals to hide things.

Or something like that, probably.