this post was submitted on 10 Jun 2024
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Browser: "Are you gonna order somethin' kid!?" (all subsequent data streams to Google for future sale)
User: "Uh yeah, give me, gimme a tab."
Browser: "A tab. I can't give you a tab unless you order something!"
User: "But I'm jonesin for some saccharin ... not that newtra-schweddy or whatever it is"
Biff Yaml enters; sits two spaces down, feeling sexagesimal: "What are you looking at, BUTTHEAD!?" (all of his comments are one line)
Python Strickland enters: "User what are you doing? Four spaces are used for indentation. You got a real attitude problem, user; you're a slacker! You remind me of your dunder father when he went here; he was a slacker, too! Quack quack. (his package is poorly managed)
Linus Torvalds enters: heavy breathing ... curses in Finnish (Älykääpiö!) ... gits out
IBM Selectric: "Hold my beer .. and my ball"
Obnoxious neighbor kid walks in (a real ascii): Invokes char(11)/VT; sits on the floor. His Mylar balloon flies away, hits a high voltage line, and the power goes out.
Browser: "Well, looks like the milkshake machine's broken."
Teletype Model 28 looks up from drinking coffee and reading the morning paper tape: "I would like to be ... modified"
Doc Mill (nee' Rampazetto) enters: (shudders) "Momma bollocks!"
During this time, Helium was on a noble mission and did not react.
Somewhere.. far in the future, a distant entity read this marvelously nonsensical opus & decided humanity wasn't always completely hopeless.
We have here with us, my fellow humans; a truly 'Hoopy Frood'..if I'm allowed to quote Douglas without seeming rude.