Ok, keep your secrets. I'm just so tired of being a disappointment to others.

Another, there is.

Frakkin Cylons! I knew it!

Say, where can I get some of those square rocks, for uh, reasons?

You may attract python too!

The list is disappointingly missing many variants, such as:

1. The Spork (an invention commonly attributed to Samuel W. Francis, but which remains in doubt)
2. The Knork, from the popular show Knork and Knindy (knanu-knanu)
3. Neptune's trident (four out of five dentists recommend it)
4. Cluster fork (as experienced by yours truly at least once per fortnight when production goes down)
5. The most ancient and purest form of all: the monofork, aka kebap skewer

This individual has more debt than the United States government.

It appears the market has spoken, thus you must clearly upgrade your ring cutting equipment.

That is, unless the poor sap acquired the titanium ring from Boeing or Airbus' supplier. Then maybe you can use kindergarten stubby scissors.

Why on earth would we try to make snakes faster? Science has gone too far this time. What's next, give them arms?

"Yeah, well I'm going to start losing even harder!"

C++: C with blackjack and 40 year old hookers. Anyway, only the rich can inherit diamonds or something. Or perhaps not, my memory is corrupted. I'm open to any pointers though...

My line too has had hot sauce recipes passed down through the generations. It is a gastrointestinal evolutionary arms race older than time.