askchapo

22845 readers

207 users here now

Ask Hexbear is the place to ask and answer ~~thought-provoking~~ questions.

Rules:

Posts must ask a question.
If the question asked is serious, answer seriously.
Questions where you want to learn more about socialism are allowed, but questions in bad faith are not.
Try !feedback@hexbear.net if you're having questions about regarding moderation, site policy, the site itself, development, volunteering or the mod team.

founded 4 years ago

MODERATORS

PorkrollPosadist@hexbear.net

replaceable@hexbear.net

VILenin@hexbear.net

EmmaGoldman@hexbear.net

SexUnderSocialism@hexbear.net

ZoomeristLeninist@hexbear.net

khizuo@hexbear.net

Sulvor@hexbear.net

Is it bad that I don't think my parents should have had me? (hexbear.net)

submitted 7 months ago by join_the_iww@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

18 comments fedilink hide all child comments

My parents have had a terrible marriage for basically as long as I can remember. I have been anticipating their divorce on some level since I was about 11 (I'm now in my late 20s), and I don't know why they don't just pull the plug. In fact, I don't even know why they got married in the first place; they don't enjoy each other's company, they don't have congruent ideas or tastes on basically anything, they're basically incompatible in every way.

I think they both would have been better off if they had split up early, never gotten married and never had children together. They should have married different people, or just not gotten married at all.

The obvious implication of this, of course, is that I shouldn't have been born. This does cause me some existential discomfort. Thoughts occur to me like, "Why do I care so much about the future? Why do I pay so much attention to politics? What's the point of advocating for socialism or trying to work towards a better future? I don't have kids, I can't have kids*, I don't think I should have kids, and I don't even think my parents should have had me. In a better timeline, I wouldn't even be here anyway."

*(I had a vasectomy a few years ago)

I would like to feel a bit more assured about all of this. What do you think?

you are viewing a single comment's thread
view the rest of the comments

[–] AlicePraxis@hexbear.net 15 points 7 months ago* (last edited 7 months ago)

I don't think someone needs to be the result of a loving relationship to matter or have value. None of us really needed to exist but we do so fuck it, let's try to make the most of it (I need to take my own advice here)

As for caring about the future, I think we all should want a better reality for the children even if they aren't "our" children. Immediate family isn't necessarily the most important thing, we're all related. Personally it brings me comfort to think of all life in the universe as part of a connected consciousness, and it's worth fighting for.