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Im perpetually embarrassed after abusive work ethic since I was little. Everything was attacked and work was endless. Any tips on becoming more gregarious and less ashamed? (hexbear.net)

submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by HexaSnoot@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net

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My perfectionism is disabling. I ban myself from doing anything I don't feel like I'll do perfect at. I barely do things I love and don't know my interests well. I love people and mingling, but I grew up selectively mute until highschool and to this day I have a hard time being direct. I overthink all texts. I used to type one sentence for hours and not send anything. My humor is very underdeveloped because I don't risk bombing jokes. There's so much I won't do unless someone is there encouraging me and enthusiastically approving of what I'm doing. I have severely low self esteem because of my level of perfectionism. I just want to hang out and chill with people and have interests that I act on.

Btw, what do you do when you need to do something you love, fast?

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[–] Groggio@hexbear.net 7 points 4 months ago

it takes time and logistics to meet and spend time with other people / make friends. Then it takes time and practice to learn making conversation smoothly and naturally. at times I had to force myself to go back to the very limited number of places I would find friends or new friendly people. US towns are not built for making friends, they lack some common social places that other countries do.

As for finding what interests you and doing something you love. idk everyone is different I tried many hobbies and crafts before finding things I like, such as DIY biking, kayaking, picnicking, music, computer and electric stuff. I try not to horde a bunch of bulky idle half-done projects cluttering up the place, but very happy with a few creative crafty projects that are useful like building a bike or sew fit a shirt or pants or alter an accessory.