this post was submitted on 23 Jun 2024
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askchapo

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Im perpetually embarrassed after abusive work ethic since I was little. Everything was attacked and work was endless. Any tips on becoming more gregarious and less ashamed? (hexbear.net)
submitted 3 months ago* (last edited 3 months ago) by HexaSnoot@hexbear.net to c/askchapo@hexbear.net
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My perfectionism is disabling. I ban myself from doing anything I don't feel like I'll do perfect at. I barely do things I love and don't know my interests well. I love people and mingling, but I grew up selectively mute until highschool and to this day I have a hard time being direct. I overthink all texts. I used to type one sentence for hours and not send anything. My humor is very underdeveloped because I don't risk bombing jokes. There's so much I won't do unless someone is there encouraging me and enthusiastically approving of what I'm doing. I have severely low self esteem because of my level of perfectionism. I just want to hang out and chill with people and have interests that I act on.

Btw, what do you do when you need to do something you love, fast?

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[–] infuziSporg@hexbear.net 2 points 3 months ago

A lot of this sounds really, really familiar, although my experience was a bit less severe.

One mantra I try to give myself, as frequently as possible, is "Anything you put out there is good enough". I would have massively benefited from hearing this in childhood.

Another thing that I'm trying to live by is "Don't leave worthy things undone or unsaid", because I have way more regrets from what I haven't done than from what I have done.

Make mistakes and embrace them. Bob Ross did it in painting, the Japanese have a whole philosophy of wabi-sabi, that's just the tip of the iceberg.

Some substances may regulate the neurotransmitters in ways that makes it all seem way less paralyzing. Use moderation in this though.