this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2024
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I've been assured he was 12 stories high and made of radiation
Nukes are mined from Washington's grave, and the only reason Russia and other nations also have them is because he once wandered a bit too far into Siberia and froze his toes off on a trip that was just meant to explore the northwestern reaches of the new continent. He leaped to the Diomede islands and his toes dipped into the water, he walked into Russia with wet shoes.