this post was submitted on 16 Jul 2024
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[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Do you find all the other labels that can be used to describe yourself offensive, or just this one?

Like are you offended by being called a human or homo sapien? Are you offended by being described by your skin color or race? Sexual preference? I just find it weird to single out the one label for no apparent reason.

How would you suggest we describe people that aren't trans or non-binary in a way that wouldn't offend you for whatever reason? As uncomfortable as it may be for you, gender identity is a thing, and the rest of the world is going to use that word to describe people. It would probably be best for you to just get over it.

[–] PsychedSy@lemmy.dbzer0.com -5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why are some women unhappy with being referred to as female? It's biologically accurate, yeah? Obviously can't be offensive.

You understand why some people find being called cis a problem, you just don't want to accept it ideologically. That's fine. Don't try to drag others to your viewpoint for bullshit reasons.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 3 points 2 months ago (5 children)

I understand that some women don't want to be called female when they are not cisgendered.

I just don't understand why a cisgendered person would have a problem being referred to as such, unless they were unsure if they were cis, or were bothered by the topic of gender identity as a whole.

If its the former, than I can understand, but if its the latter, then that's a you problem, and I don't care if you are offended being called cis.

[–] PsychedSy@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I think it's mostly about how it's used, yeah? Nobody calls me cis in real life. 40+ years and it hasn't come up. The only time I see it used is derogatively.

I don't mind - I have strong opinions about letting peeps vent, but I can see why others find it negative.

[–] Dasus@lemmy.world -2 points 2 months ago

The only time I see it used is derogatively.

Give a few examples, please.

[–] CherenkovBlue@lemmy.myserv.one 5 points 2 months ago (1 children)

I don't agree with the concept of gender. Therefore, I object to being referred to as "cis" or "trans". I have a sexed body and a brain within it that does brain things.

No, I don't identify as agender either. That still is part of the concept of gender.

Downvotes or deletion in 3...2...1...

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

Do you have pronouns folks should use when referring to you, or should folks just use your screen name?

[–] CherenkovBlue@lemmy.myserv.one -2 points 2 months ago

I use the pronoun that is appropriate for my sex.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works -2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (2 children)

Based off of their comment, if its not sarcastic, the only pronoun I could think of that doesn't have any hint of gender or enbyism to it is, "it".

[–] turavv@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago (2 children)

They? 'it' can be used in an offensive manner.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I know that "it" can sound bad if it's not preferred, but I know some people that do actually prefer "it". Most people would prefer "they", but "they" still suggests some form of non-binaryism is what I was getting at. Some people want something even farther away from the concept.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 3 points 2 months ago

Weeellll I hate to nitpick but "they" only has a nonbinary connotation because of the hype around the issue atm, but it has been used for a good long while to refer to people of unknown gender (or a plurality thereof). The best example I can come up with is think about electronic music, Major Lazer, are they a group? One dude? One woman? One of each? Two of one and one of another? Who knows what they are (shhh you could google it but ykwim). "They" is the natural choice in this instance, otherwise you're just guessing.

Also it does happen to fit in with the nonbinary crowd for much of the same reason, many of them want to appear androgynous or of unknown gender and so they basically use it on the same principle but it isn't exclusive to them nor should it necessarily conjure up images of nonbinary people just because that's currently the new use, it's probable many people have been using it as I described and never even noticed because it was just ingrained, and we only notice it at the "new" application regarding a specific individual's gender that we may perceive as "known" subconsciously.

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 1 points 2 months ago

Some people do use "it" as their pronouns. (I've been shopping for pronoun pins, there's a market for "it" pronoun pins, but it isn't one of the Big 3.)

[–] CherenkovBlue@lemmy.myserv.one 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

"It" refers to things. I am a human being.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 2 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

I apologize for assuming. Some people do actually prefer 'it', though. Your comment reminded me of a friend I have, who rejects any consideration of gender whatsoever. My friend prefers 'it' as a general pronoun if you aren't using their name, directly.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 4 points 2 months ago

The going line is that "female" is for animals, "woman" is for human women, and if you say "female" you're an incel bigot who should die. They also often say "you'd never say 'male' to refer to men" but I actually do that all the time, to the degree now if I don't want to be bullied unnecessarily I have to say things like "My male friends don't care what I call them, but my ~~fem-~~ [backspace] woman friends are very particular about verbiage."

It's weird, but what can ya do.

[–] grysbok@lemmy.sdf.org 3 points 2 months ago

The problem I've seen with being called "female" is when a speaker uses "men" for one set of people and "female" for another, in the same context. It feels gross, like they don't see women as fully human. It feels much less bleck when a speaker uses "male" and "female".

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 2 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Why would a trans woman have any more problem with being called female?

Male/female have a usecase of being used to try to distance oneself from the subjects of your sentence and often used in more scientific or legalistic styles and can come off as dehumanizing as a result.

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) (1 children)

Ah, I see what you are saying. I understand the connotations of referring to someone as female directly, and I would never do so.

There are times where female is more proper to use, such as in medical settings, or as a descriptor in certain settings, e.g. 'female hygiene products'. Some trans males and enbys would still be bothered by seeing the word 'female' in the proper setting, too.

[–] WalrusDragonOnABike 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Some trans males ... would still be bothered by seeing the word ‘female’ in the proper setting, too.

Trans men are males and trans women are females...

[–] TopRamenBinLaden@sh.itjust.works 1 points 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago)

I know that. So you agree and idk what you are trying to add here. Hence why I said that they are bothered when they see the word 'female' on things like their medical paperwork, dead named IDs, products they have to use, etc.

Just because they are males doesn't mean the rest of the world automatically changes its pronouns for them, and its unfortunate they have to deal with that.