doomer

I don’t understand people who are in terrible conditions and decide to have kids lol.

For example, my cousin was/is not struggling financially. He and his wife decided to have a kid. Okay, whatever. But then… they (he, because he’s the primary provider) decided to take an out of state job and move to a completely different state where none of our family or their friends live, and he works remotely most of the time - and I don’t even know if his wife was able to find a job since she doesn’t have too much experience or know English - which means they likely made 0 connections and relationships to help with raising the child and just socializing.

Then they decided to have a second kid while in the same conditions lol. His wife kept urging him to get extra certifications and learn extra subjects on the side in case of a layoff, especially since he’s just working remotely. But he didn’t do that and eventually the company laid off a bunch of people.

They regularly visit their family here and live with them without any problems financially, but now he’s struggling to find a job.

Now I don’t know how they’re personally raising their children or if they “hate” them, but just as an outsider, it’s so baffling to see this situation play out. Like dog. This ain’t the 1970s lol. Unless you secure a stable job, it’s gonna be very hard raising a 4 person family with just one person working. I’m not blaming his wife, too. I don’t understand how people can dive nose first into this situation without contingencies or even years of preparation before pulling the trigger. They are fortunate we aren’t yakubian devils and charge rent the second you turn 18.

I don’t know. Several millennial women I know who are married freak out when they reach their 30s without kids. These couples seem to be rushing to form a family before “it’s too late”. Like… you know you can adopt right? You can be 35, 38, 40, who knows - and have children, but at least you’ll be financially stable and get an idea of what your environment will be in the long term.

I don’t know. It seems ultimately this circles back to your point. Maybe they don’t hate their kids, but the society they live in does. It batters these people into becoming obsessed with having children or else they’re “defective,” and when they do have children, there is no help.