I can see why there are a lot of famous disillusioned/defecting Bolsheviks the West likes to cheer about. If I were sold on such an optimistic ideal and then had to deal with the realities and limitations of material conditions, I'd probably be pretty doubtful, too. One of the lessons we learn with hindsight, I suppose. In a way, I suppose I was one of those doubting idealists before I fully came over to Marxism-Leninism.