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The original was posted on /r/bestofredditorupdates by /u/Choice_Evidence1983 on 2024-07-03 04:01:05+00:00.
I am NOT OOP, OOP is u/Better-Manner-7205
Originally posted to r/Marriage
Husband left me and our newborn baby for another woman
Trigger Warnings: infidelity
Original Post: June 16, 2024
We’ve been married for 3 years. I’m 30 he’s 34. I had a baby 6 weeks ago after giving birth my husband was cold and so distant, I thought that he needed time to adjust to the new normal but turns out he was actually planning to leave us. 2 weeks ago he said to me that’s it’s not working out anymore and he doesn’t want to be married to me. The news broke my heart I kept asking him why was he doing this to our family and his response was “ I can’t pretend anymore”
He took all his clothes and left 2 days after. I just had this gut feeling that he was seeing someone else so I got into his email and found hotel reservations, he brought her on a vacation when I thought he was on a business trip. Searched her name on facebook and saw him in the background of her pictures. Turns out this has been going on for a year
I’m so hurt dealing with this and taking care of a new born baby. I’ve been crying all day for the past 2 week and being delusional thinking he will come back to us when he realizes he made a mistake. I texted him when I found out about the other woman and he ignored me then hours later asked how our son was doing so I blocked him
I’ve been feeling so lost I have no appetite haven’t been eating,as a result my milk supply is really low. I don’t know what to do anymore
Relevant Comments
Dear_Parsnip_6802: Do you have family or friends who can help support you?
I know you don't feel ready but you need legal advice as to your entitlements. You need him to pay child support at the very least.
OOP: My parents have been really supportive
OOP on if she is able to change the locks of the house
OOP: Don’t think I’m legally allowed to change the locks
Update: June 25, 2024
This morning, my husband came back, saying he made a mistake leaving his family and wants to work things out. These past weeks have been so rough; I’ve cried myself to sleep many nights all while taking care of a baby
I’m still hurting and feel even worse now that he’s back. Coming back doesn’t erase all the emotional stress he’s caused me. He left me and our baby when we needed him the most. I’m so lost and confused.
Relevant Comments
Bougieb5000: I wonder if she even knew he was married and/or had a pregnant wife/newborn baby. I bet she recently found out, just my guess…
OOP: I think she knew! He told me he left her I don’t believe him. I actually sent her a message I’m currently waiting on a response
prettyxpetty: You need to speak with a lawyer bc it him being at the house instead of you may work against you in the divorce… if it matters.
OOP: I asked him to leave and he refused so I left instead. I spoke to an attorney they said I can’t stop him from staying in our home
OOP questioning if her husband was having a mental breakdown or not*
OOP: If that’s the case he was having a mental breakdown even before I got pregnant?! He was having an affair before I even got pregnant and it all unfolded when I gave birth
Update: Text messages from other woman: June 26, 2024
Texts with AP and I, this confirms he’s a LIAR and has been lying to both of us
My previous post was very vague, so I thought I'd provide more detail. When my husband came back yesterday, he apologized and said it was a huge mistake. He admitted he wasn’t thinking straight and would do anything to make things right between us. He wants to be here for me and our son, repeatedly asking what he needs to do to make things right. I told him I didn’t want to see him right now and that it was best if he left, but he refused and kept begging to stay, saying he was sorry and calling himself an idiot who doesn’t deserve me.
I asked why he did this to us, and he admitted he wasn’t thinking clearly and said nothing can justify his horrible actions
O.W. - Other Woman
O.W.: It's me... I don't use messenger so thought it would be better to text you for starters [redacted] told me y'all were separated and he'd started the divorce process
O.W.: I feel so stupid now believing him
OOP: How long were y'all seeing each other and did you knew about our son all this time?
O.W.: I met him a year ago at Starbucks, where he paid for my coffee. That moment marked the beginning of our relationship. A few months ago, I discovered about the baby and decided to break things off. However, he insisted that it didn't mean anything and kept expressing his desire to be with me
O.W.: He moved in with me weeks ago till this morning he woke up and said he's going back to his family
OOP: He told me weeks ago the same time he moved in with you that it wasn't working with us anymore and he left me and our 4 week old
O.W.: 🥹 😢 omg l'm so sorry I didn't know I wouldn't let him move in with me had I known
OOP: You don't need to apologize you didn't know
OOP: !!
O.W.: I'm stuck in a lease I can't afford by myself because he convinced me to get this apartment for us... only to bail on me
OOP: How old are you?
O.W.: 25
O.W.: Please feel free to ask me anything you want to know
O.W.: Were you ever separated?
OOP: We were never separated and lived together till a few weeks after I gave birth
OOP: Did he tell you why we separated?
O.W.: He didn't say much it was very brief... All he mentioned was that things weren't working out between you two and something about growing apart
O.W.: When I found out you were pregnant, he said you were trying to trap him with the baby
OOP: Our child was planned actually and it was his idea to begin with! it's clear as day he's a pathological liar
O.W.: Is he back at your house or was that also one of his lies
OOP: He came back but we're not getting back together
O.W.: Good for you he's an asshole
O.W.: For the record I'm done with him too
Relevant Comments
How did OOP feel after talking with the other woman
OOP: Thank you! I tried my best to be understanding and not get upset, this woman owes me nothing I can’t be mad at her
OOP on if the other woman knew about the baby, she was with the husband for a year before OOP found out
OOP: She knew but my guess is she really loved him and didn’t care,regardless this is all on him! he was lying to both of us
I think she just wanted confirmation since we both know he lies about everything. If she chooses to take him back that’s on her