Technology

That's ridiculous. Everyone has a level of sexuality that they won't tolerate.

Rub it it my face? I never said this was about that. No changes are considered necessary on my part. I'm saying "this kind of username bothers me but I'm going to say it does and leave it at that" and not "eww, the s, gross" because the latter is not what I believe. I'd physically defend the guy if someone attacked him in public about it. I don't think sex is disgusting, I think centering your life around sex is off putting.

What I believe is if your online identity literally appears to revolve around oral sex, I assume their sexuality is an extremely prominent part of their life. That kind of feels awkward, that's all. I don't say it and have the implication (for example) of "oh no he'll rape me" involved, I said it purely to explain my PoV, because that username doesn't make him anything, it's just harder to take him seriously.

I will do better, but why don't you look in the mirror and say that? I don't need him to agree to validate me, him recognizing it at all is a privilege to me, and I don't want him to take it or me into account if it isn't worth the trouble. The world does not have to agree with me, and if there was actual prejudice on my end I would be wrong to tell someone else to leave or do something just because of my views. What's wrong is, I'm willing to admit that but are you? You aren't entitled to tell me to do "better" or anything at all, and I don't want my words to imply that anyone "has to" follow my direction.

Don't you tell me again that I'm expected to follow YOUR advice, I've seen that kind of hypocrisy and I'm far more tired of putting up with it than you.

To be fair, I was saying I wouldn't want one and the username was a bit too forward, but anything beyond that I fully admit I have no right to decide. The username is fine, I just wanted to point out it can make someone uncomfortable, not to ridicule him for it. Next time I'll DM someone if I need to say something like that.

Reminds me to disable the displaynames feature in Lemmy

Context. I collect toys as decorations. I'm a geek. That's all. That, and I'm genuinely sorry if there was any implication that homosexuality is "wrong". It isn't and my concern was not supposed to have influence beyond "it sort of makes me uncomfortable, but I won't push you to change it for my sake". You want hypocrisy? You're the one trying to be the internet police. I've said what I said, I don't need OP to actually care or follow it. I'm asexual and anti-sex-centrist, not authoritarian. That, and Connect won't hide usernames.

Mostly it's that I'm anti-sex-focused because of it, overt sexual signalling is off putting to me but not the end of the world and I understand why other people enjoy it from description. To me, the lack of payoff makes it just feel wrong to me. That said, there's no reason to take my criticism seriously. I don't expect someone to change their username for my sake.