this post was submitted on 17 Jun 2023
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No Stupid Questions

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No such thing. Ask away!

!nostupidquestions is a community dedicated to being helpful and answering each others' questions on various topics.

The rules for posting and commenting, besides the rules defined here for lemmy.world, are as follows:

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Rule 1- All posts must be legitimate questions. All post titles must include a question.

All posts must be legitimate questions, and all post titles must include a question. Questions that are joke or trolling questions, memes, song lyrics as title, etc. are not allowed here. See Rule 6 for all exceptions.



Rule 2- Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material.

Your question subject cannot be illegal or NSFW material. You will be warned first, banned second.



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Do not seek mental, medical and professional help here. Breaking this rule will not get you or your post removed, but it will put you at risk, and possibly in danger.



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Provided it is about the community itself, you may post non-question posts using the [META] tag on your post title.

On fridays, you are allowed to post meme and troll questions, on the condition that it's in text format only, and conforms with our other rules. These posts MUST include the [NSQ Friday] tag in their title.

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Still learning the rules of this room by the way so bear with me

all 19 comments
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[–] okbin@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago (1 children)

downvotes REALLY bother me. why it bothers me personally: i have severe mental health issues (to the point of disability). due to how i grew up, i heavily internalized being and accepting that i'm always bad and horrible and wrong and punishing myself for it. when i get criticized or downvoted - even if it's silly - i feel HORRIBLE, because obviously i MUST'VE done something VERY BAD and VERY WRONG and i must be PUNISHED and i must CORRECT. and it's even more frustrating when i don't know what to correct. bonus, i have autism and adhd, so i can say things considered "wrong" and not know why, but people won't explain it to me because apparently i should magically know. and i don't want to be a bad person, but now i'm suddenly a bad person and i don't know what to do about it.

this is just ME. i don't think it applies to most people. and inb4 "bruh it's just a downvote, it's not that deep, touch grass" AGREED. BIG AGREE. but if you understand anything about psychology, it can take a very long time to undo stuff that's so deeply ingrained from childhood, if it can be undone at all. i have actually heavily improved in this area in terms of recognizing i'm not necessarily wrong and rarely need to be punished, but the emotional reaction sadly has not changed much.

also, some (not all) people just seem to use downvotes as a personal attack, and that's just annoying as hell. i think people can relate to this much more.

i try hard not to downvote, because i don't think it's necessary most of the time. people seem to downvote the silliest things...

[–] iAmTheTot@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

I mean this with the utmost respect, but this might not be the platform for you mate. That kinda feels like knowing that you have a gambling addiction and going to a casino.

[–] Action_Bastid@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

On reddit, reaching a certain negative score threshold would often hide your comment, meaning that your contribution to the thread would be hidden. As the site got older, karma began to be used as an initial leaping off point for participation in some communities, making down votes socially expensive for casual participants, since that slowed their ability to interact with the more restrictive communities in the site.

[–] koreth@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago* (last edited 1 year ago)

It's mainly a feeling of rejection, as others have said. But also, when I post a non-joke comment that gets downvoted but not replied to, I really want to know what the point of disagreement was. It's frustrating to not know what nerve I've hit. The negative number next to my comment tells me nothing useful.

[–] tallwookie@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

fake internet points dont matter at an individual level on this platform - up/down votes on posts affect the weight metric about how they get displayed in the feed but dont really seem to matter too much either.

as others have said, it's a mental/cognitive thing - but it's also social to the extent that each online community has its own social rules, some unspoken, that everyone mindlessly obeys because if you dont you'll get shadowbanned/silenced by power tripping moderators.

[–] arkcom@kbin.social 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

on kbin we have reputation, which is nearly impossible to keep positive, because it counts downvotes but not upvotes. They are working on fixing it though.

[–] LeafyPasserine@kbin.social 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

@arkcom Yeah it's so odd that they count Boosts instead of Upvotes. Why do we need two??

[–] cowvin@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Boosts are like retweets and Upvotes are like likes. On a threaded discussion format like this, boosts are kind of pointless, so nobody uses them.

[–] ThunderQuack@kbin.social 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

It’s a validation thing if not a competitive thing. They want/need the most points or to feel like there’s support for their views. Just a bit of sociology

[–] jpgr@kbin.social 0 points 1 year ago (2 children)

When used correctly (for irrelevant/trolling/toxic comments etc., not for disagreement) it is useful as a community filter.

[–] reflex@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

Been testing Kbin and Tildes, and I like the way Tildes does it. There are upvotes, no downvotes. Instead, there are also labels that can be applied like joke and off-topic. There's even an analogue of gilding via an exemplary label which has an 8-hour cool down and requires typing a brief reason.

Tildes wants to encourage longer, thoughtful discussion so jokes get pushed to the bottom by default. Currently no option to custom sort that I could see if, for example, you want to read funny comments instead—and that's fine.

Point is, a better system than upvotes/downvotes would be nice as a general feature for aggregators going forward.

[–] metaStatic@kbin.social 1 points 1 year ago

it has literally never been used correctly and if you believe otherwise I'll downvote you.

[–] RufusFirefly@lemmy.world 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Probably because they tie it to their own personal self-image or self-worth. Of course, in the grand scheme of things, downvotes are virtual and don't mean a thing in the real world.

[–] UnicornKitty@lemmy.world 1 points 1 year ago

But people give it value, therefore it does have meaning in the real world. The act generates a feeling in someone, and it says "I don't like what you just said." People want to be liked.

[–] Duality@lemm.ee 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

People don't like rejection. Evolutionarily rejection from peers/society means danger. Even if it's not dangerous now, the brain (especially the amygdala) reacts the same. People get anxious, defensive, etc. It takes time and reflection to accept that maybe what you said was wrong or socially unacceptable. Internet is too fast to reflect, it's much easier to respond in anger and then forget it all.

[–] Just_A_Human@sh.itjust.works 0 points 1 year ago (1 children)

Why specifically the amygdala? I would've assumed it'd originate in older parts of the brain

[–] Duality@lemm.ee 1 points 1 year ago

It's the emotion center for the brain, especially negative emotions like fear and anxiety. Older parts are often "responsible" for keeping you alive, so breathing, heart beating, etc.