this post was submitted on 16 Sep 2024
484 points (91.3% liked)

Microblog Memes

5726 readers
1978 users here now

A place to share screenshots of Microblog posts, whether from Mastodon, tumblr, ~~Twitter~~ X, KBin, Threads or elsewhere.

Created as an evolution of White People Twitter and other tweet-capture subreddits.

Rules:

  1. Please put at least one word relevant to the post in the post title.
  2. Be nice.
  3. No advertising, brand promotion or guerilla marketing.
  4. Posters are encouraged to link to the toot or tweet etc in the description of posts.

Related communities:

founded 1 year ago
MODERATORS
 
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] noodlejetski@lemm.ee 76 points 1 month ago (5 children)

yeah but how good would it feel

[–] anarchrist@lemmy.dbzer0.com 53 points 1 month ago

At least as good as passing a kidney stone, I'd imagine

[–] ininewcrow@lemmy.ca 39 points 1 month ago (2 children)
[–] thisNotMyName@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago

That would be part of the French cuisine

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Like a facehugger.

[–] growsomethinggood@reddthat.com 12 points 1 month ago

[Paul Robalino voice] It wouldn't be a problem because it would feel really good, actually

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] st3ph3n@midwest.social 58 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] CrayonRosary@lemmy.world 23 points 1 month ago (2 children)

They would build up in your balls until your balls exploded.

[–] Master@lemm.ee 19 points 1 month ago

You would feel them moving around... inside you...

[–] msage@programming.dev 9 points 1 month ago

No, silly, pee is stored in balls

[–] Anticorp@lemmy.world 57 points 1 month ago

Can I just go back to having never read this before?

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 49 points 1 month ago
[–] dohpaz42@lemmy.world 46 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I’m wide awake and already experiencing nightmares. I also haven’t eaten anything today, and now I’m afraid to for fear of vomiting.

Well done! You’ve won the Internet today. I hope you’re happy.

[–] BonesOfTheMoon@lemmy.world 15 points 1 month ago

Good afternoon.

[–] 2ugly2live@lemmy.world 44 points 1 month ago

Would... Wouldn't women be able to feel that? The idea of feeling that settle and I guess... Die!? If it doesn't get fertilized? WOULD We HAVE TO PASS It BACK OUT!?

🤢🤮

[–] baggins@lemmy.ca 44 points 1 month ago (1 children)
[–] mEEGal@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago)

from my brain

[–] edgemaster72@lemmy.world 37 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (3 children)

We can call it a spworm

Edit: Didn't see that @Cloaca@mtgzone.com beat me to the reference by like, 4 hours

[–] BassTurd@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago

Ah yes, another cultured user. Everyone should know about and subscribe to Dropout.tv for the content and to support a solidly ethical company. Sam is a saint.

[–] Facebones@reddthat.com 6 points 1 month ago

Of course Lemmy and dropout have a meaty Venn diagram, but this really makes me glad I haven't watched all the Smarty-pants 🤣

[–] Marighost@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago

I was praying there'd be Dropout fans in the replies for this one!

[–] Cloaca@mtgzone.com 30 points 1 month ago
[–] RampantParanoia2365@lemmy.world 28 points 1 month ago

What the fuck is this?

[–] cheddar@programming.dev 26 points 1 month ago

Why would I imagine that??

[–] Someonelol@lemmy.dbzer0.com 25 points 1 month ago

Thanks I hate it.

[–] Honytawk@lemmy.zip 24 points 1 month ago

Would have so much more respect for swallowers

[–] tatterdemalion@programming.dev 23 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Why is it in a spoon? 🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄🥄

[–] Allonzee@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

It could flop out of a fork more easily.

[–] Zip2@feddit.uk 5 points 1 month ago

Didn’t have time to grab a frying pan.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] MeDuViNoX@sh.itjust.works 23 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I'd just get an aquarium, fill it with water, bust into it, and see how long I could keep them alive.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] JetpackJackson@feddit.org 23 points 1 month ago

I wish I could unsee this greatly

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 20 points 1 month ago (1 children)

cum fetishes may mutate into
...pet fetishes? lol

[–] NegativeInf@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

An aquarium full of giant sperm.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] SmoothLiquidation@lemmy.world 19 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think I read that Oglaf comic.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] YungOnions@sh.itjust.works 19 points 1 month ago

What a god awful day to have eyes...

[–] meticulousmind@kbin.earth 16 points 1 month ago

alright, who's got the eye bleach?

[–] Meron35@lemmy.world 13 points 1 month ago

Give it some sideburns and a smiley face and you've basically got an axolotl

[–] Sabata11792@ani.social 12 points 1 month ago

I'd have the strongest stomp in town.

[–] HootinNHollerin@lemmy.world 12 points 1 month ago (1 children)

I think I’ll take a break from the Internet now

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] spacejank@sh.itjust.works 9 points 1 month ago

Truly a horrifying image!

[–] UltraMagnus0001@lemmy.world 9 points 1 month ago

Mass genocide every night

[–] crawancon@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago

talk about weapons of ass destruction.

is this what happens when you don't jerk off for 9 months?

i think for the show Alone, the males just got an infinite protein source.

[–] TwoBeeSan@lemmy.world 8 points 1 month ago

I would hear the pro life argument

[–] Dave2@lemmy.blahaj.zone 7 points 1 month ago

Alright, why do we have picture of that? Who made it real?

[–] Cordyceps@sopuli.xyz 7 points 1 month ago

If thst is the sperm, what about the nuts? Would you see the outlines of a bunch of these fuckers just swimming around bump7ng into the walls, stretching the sack around as they go? Well atleast checking the sperm count would get a lot easier I guess

[–] tfw_no_toiletpaper@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago (1 children)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] LucasWaffyWaf@lemmy.world 5 points 1 month ago (3 children)

Shockingly, I've genuinely seen furry porn of giant oversized sperm like this.

[–] TriflingToad@lemmy.world 6 points 1 month ago

of course that's a thing

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] Gork@lemm.ee 4 points 1 month ago
[–] mostNONheinous@lemmy.world 4 points 1 month ago

There is a movie called CHILLERAMA, and it contains four short films. One of which is called Wadzilla, of you don’t mind a lot of CAMP you might find it funny.

load more comments
view more: next ›