Seems like you’re not doing well. Learning how to manage fear and anxiety might be a useful skill for you.
I learned improving in this area with the following technique.
First you should know that there’s not only fear, but also fear of fear. That means you fear even being situations where you experience fear.
Fear and anxiety doesn’t mean that there’s any actual danger to you.
How to conquer fear and anxiety:
Give your fear a rating between 1 and 10 (screaming in horror and running away).
- Go into a situation that causes fear or anxiety.
- Rate your fear level.
- Stay in the situation for a few minutes or until your fear has dropped one level.
- Leave situation.
You repeat that until you can stay longer in the situation and the fear level drops to a level where you are able to navigate the situation.
Example: You fear spiders. So go to a place where you can see a spider from a safe distance. Stay in that place until your fear level drops or a couple of minutes. Repeat. Once you can look at a spider from a safe distance for a while, move closer.
The same applies to social situations and so on.
It helps to write down your fear level every minute or so. Drawing a curve is also good.
You will see your fear level drop over time once your mind realizes there’s no actual immediate danger. It just needs time to adapt.
Be patient and try being s good friend to yourself.
I was where you are. It will get better.