this post was submitted on 15 Oct 2023
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[–] tdawg@lemmy.world 50 points 11 months ago (4 children)

No. I'm tired of everything becomeing "high tech." Stop putting buttons and lights and nobs on everything. I just want to buy it once and not worry about it needing a fucking wifi connection

[–] idunnololz@lemmy.world 34 points 11 months ago (2 children)

Yeah but now you can see the weight of your poops and compete with family and friends on the leaderboard.

[–] chakan2@lemmy.world 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] devfuuu@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

With some mobile apps, in app currency and some gamiffication (aka predatory tactics) like trophies and leader boards and pay for win features, I could see making lots of money from poop a very legit business.

[–] chakan2@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

And thus the smart toilet was born...only 9.99$ a month for unlimited flushes, or .99$ per flush.

(Additional water usage charges may apply)

[–] altima_neo@lemmy.zip 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I just want one with a built in, automatic poop knife

[–] AngryCommieKender@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Just stick a garbage disposal in there that turns on every flush. As long as you aren't shitting out whole nuts and bones it should work.

[–] mxcory@lemmy.blahaj.zone 1 points 11 months ago (1 children)
[–] PipedLinkBot@feddit.rocks 1 points 11 months ago

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[–] shasta@lemm.ee 1 points 11 months ago

Luckily, you can just choose to not buy this one

[–] jordanlund@lemmy.world 28 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Was at the HLTH 2023 conference in Vegas this week, they had a toilet seat with a blood pressure and pulse monitor and pulse oximeter.

Based on users weight and weight distribution it could even track multiple people.

When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.

Blood pressure is still pending FDA approval.

https://www.mddionline.com/cardiovascular/sitting-new-monitoring-thanks-toilet-seat-device

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 4 points 11 months ago

When I asked about cost, they insisted they wanted it to be $0 for patients and handled by insurance.

Nice dodge they did there.

[–] Apollonius_Cone@lemmy.world 18 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Does anyone really give a shit?

[–] Zibobwa@lemmy.world 17 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago) (1 children)

Daily. Sometimes more frequently.

[–] hansl@lemmy.world 7 points 11 months ago

Aaah to be young again.

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 17 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I'm not paying $20,000 for every flush.

[–] TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world 12 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I merely posted this as it's "a thing" now. I think we're putting IoT into too much. It's a marketing phase. Apple watches are nice, but I don't own one. Back in 2015 when they introduced the $10,000 to $17,000 18-karat gold Apple Watch (which is now obsolete), it was a fad thing for the rich crowd. Just like when Dan Quayle bought George HW Bush a solid gold toilet paper holder, this is a pretty for the elite.

I don't see too many people buying these, but at $20K a piece, how many do you have to sell?

[–] bjoern_tantau@swg-empire.de 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Reminds me of a Dilbert comic. "Our target demographic are rich idiots"

[–] GuyDudeman@lemmy.world 13 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Ahh, back when we thought Dilbert was antiwork.

[–] Buddahriffic@lemmy.world 2 points 11 months ago

If your business is bitching about something that sucks, you might find yourself wanting it to keep sucking. And depending on how much of a piece of shit you are, you might even take steps to ensure it keeps sucking if you can.

[–] rbesfe@lemmy.ca 16 points 11 months ago (1 children)

American toilet companies slowly approaching where Japan was 10+ years ago

[–] elouboub@kbin.social 11 points 11 months ago

Any toilet that still flushes is weak, archaic shit. Delft worked on a toilet that burns up shit using plasma.

[–] pete_the_cat@lemmy.world 11 points 11 months ago (2 children)

"I give you happy poopy time!"

[–] TheOneWithTheHair@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago* (last edited 11 months ago)

Banging on door

Voice beyond the door: "Dad! Don't start pooping! We just lost the Internet! Hold it! Don't drop the deuce!"

[–] krazyjimmy08@lemmy.world 5 points 11 months ago

"Sorry, you know too much."

[–] Lifecoach5000@lemmy.world 10 points 11 months ago (1 children)

I’ve got something similar to the Bio Bidet BB-2000 Bidet Toilet Seat I bought during the great toilet paper sell out of 2020. Worth every penny of the $400 I spent. I feel like a king everytime I sit down.

[–] Rai@lemmy.dbzer0.com 5 points 11 months ago

Bidet changed my life. I fear pooping in public now.

[–] glad_cat@lemmy.sdf.org 7 points 11 months ago

Literal "internet of shit," also ridiculously expensive.

[–] derin@lemmy.beru.co 5 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Or you can just buy a $300 Toto washlet that has all the same features, lol.

Most of these are just luxury models that come pre installed on some designer toilet. Get a normal toilet, install a basic washlet, and enjoy the benefits of the 20th century. (yes, I'm implying that if you only use toilet paper to clean yourself that you're living a pre-20th century life. That's okay, you do you)

[–] Toribor@corndog.social 4 points 11 months ago (1 children)

Toilet paper is too futuristic for me. I wipe my ass with a communal stick.

[–] Mushroomm@sh.itjust.works 1 points 11 months ago

You guys wipe?

[–] mysticpickle@lemmy.ca 5 points 11 months ago

Complete barbarism. Doesn't even have the three seashells lol

[–] GigglyBobble@kbin.social 3 points 11 months ago

You can tell the author had tons of fun writing this.

[–] YeetPics@mander.xyz 2 points 11 months ago (1 children)
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[–] DingoBilly@lemmy.world 0 points 11 months ago

Pretty interesting, toilets haven't really changed much for decades but I could see a bunch of ways they could provide useful information to you.

Lol at the bloomers in the other threads though who hate change.