I use it for fam and friends, special interest groups, and local events. It’s still a useful platform if you curate it well. It just takes effort. And Firefox plugins.
Fediverse
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I don't think there's anything in the Fediverse meant to support the family updates use case.
We use giant SMS text message threads for that.
For more privacy, we get everyone to use Signal or XMPP with OMEMO.
You should be closing your Facebook regardless of your desire to use an alternative...
If you want private messaging decentralized, there is Matrix. If you don't mind, there is Signal or Threema.
I have FB for (by priority):
My job's business profile I have to help manage (for now).
Communication with extended family and a couple of friends from years ago I don't live near anymore.
Rarely, marketplace.
I hate messenger and have myself set on permanently unavailable. I wish I could keep my basic FB but completely disconnect from it.
I don't post anything on my personal page.
I've never had an Instagram or used it. I have an okay VR but have never even looked into meta. I have Steam.
I hate Facebook. Haven't used it for years, but a bare-bones profile sits there because of VR. But now I had the shocking thought of trying it for dating, because the alternative is the shitfest that is the Match Group monopoly on personal relationships. Neither is terribly appealing. Sucks.
I keep using Facebook to keep up with family and friends I don’t see all the time. I also use marketplace. I maintain a group of family members where I post jpgs of raw family photo scans I host (moving the raws to Immich at the moment). Other than that I occasionally post a funny thing from Lemmy as a “still alive” post.
I have still my FB account, messenger and whatsapp. I refuse to sign up for Instagram, which is a little awkward because so many in my generation use it...
I try to occasionally be connected but I do it through Beeper so that I don't need the battery-draining data-zucking apps on my phone, since it interacts via a Matrix bridge hosted for me.
Kinda sounds like you might like Mastodon then.
Akkoma and probably others like Misskey I assume do have follower-only posts and they do get used by some people who like to communicate with a small group and otherwise keep things private.