How to Escape a Minefield
this post was submitted on 10 Feb 2025
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Died running indoors with limited space.
Balancing a Motorcycle Tire. Seems reasonable.
Died eating sea urchins... Yeah that kind of tracks actually.
How to measure your pants
Walking a Guinea pigβ¦ they must be absolutely ferocious little thingsβ¦
"How to dispose of mercury"
Huh, that's actually more realistic than I thought
Uh oh.
:(
"Died unblocking my sacral Chakra."
uh oh
I guess that's pretty close
An exceedingly dangerous activity indeed.
https://www.wikihow.com/Write-Your-Own-Eulogy
Well, at least I was prepared.
That's so damn funny!!!!
how to: make hot chocolate with powdered cocoa.
"what to do when someone texts you an apple emoji."
I'm extremely curious to see how this plays out.
βmaybe I shouldn't have texted that reaction to his apple emoji, but it felt right in that moment"
Random excerpt from the late Throbbing_Banjo discography.
"How to confront a cheating husband"
That actually makes sense as a way to die, I just need to become gay now.
It's OP hitting on me π³
Apparently "Doing One-Armed Pushups like a Pro"
So, focused physical exertion.
https://www.wikihow.com/Use-the-Poke-Radar
Looks like I die playing an old PokΓ©mon game. Nostalgia must hit.
https://www.wikihow.com/Grow-Dates-Indoors
Guys I'm scared, my wife has been trying to grow dates indoors. Send for help, my time is near.
Comforting a dying cat :(
I WARNED YEH!
DIDN'T I WARN YEH?
Ok, so I guess I'll need to move to the USA in the future
Now you can avoid your death indefinitely by never going there
Wearing high heels while being tall.....
How to cut wispy bangs. Well I'd gladly die before having bangs again.
"Thinking before you speak" is an important skill to master for all kinds of situations. It can improve your relationships with other people and enable you to express yourself in a more effective way. Start by using the THINK acronym to decide if what you have to say is True, Helpful, Inspiring, Necessary, or Kind. Then,
Should maybe have yelled "Don't Remove The Pole! The building will collapse!" But instead I was using the T.H.I.N.K acronym.
I spent way to long thinking it was "How to make Scorpion man miss you". Thought I was gonna get stung.
Yes, dying from the most dangerous of human endeavors: small talk.
Celebrating Onam apparently. I didn't know that existed even, but it seems so fun it's deadly.
https://www.wikihow.com/Get-a-Middle-School-Crush-to-Like-You
UUUHHHHH
monday
inhales
I like coming here.
In break times, i often get to see her, with her long skirt, her adorable jacket, and her soft, long, brown hair.
She is rather tall in her friend group, she must be 13, maybe 14...
It doesn't stop me for loving her even if i am in my 40's.
Nothing can.
It's not a barbaric attraction like thoses weird pedophiles.
My love is pure.
She's made to be mine.
"I want to be with her together."
tuesday
She just leaved the school to buy her meal.
Today she did attach her hairs into two braids, with ribbons at the ends.
She is so cute.
"I absoluetly want to be with her"
She seems to be alone right now.
"Is it my chance?"
Slowly, gently, silently, I put some chloroform on the piece of cotton.
Softly, purely, nicely, I approach her from behind.
Strangely, surprisingly, quickly, she does a barrel roll and a backflip, and face me with an assault rifle.
Rougly, straightly, immediatly, she say: "ladies and gentleman, we got him"
Painly, horribly, trementously, i get perfored multiple times by supersonic projectiles, and fall on the ground.
"aww man"
I just died trying to get a middle school crush to like me.
Guys don't call the police it's for the thing
How to run away from an abusive home.
I was already planning to run away from an abusive home.
This is horrifying
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