this post was submitted on 14 Mar 2025
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Mildly Interesting

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cross-posted from: https://lemmit.online/post/5401622

This is an automated archive made by the Lemmit Bot.

The original was posted on /r/mildlyinteresting by /u/miyog on 2025-03-14 16:02:13+00:00.

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[–] JakenVeina@lemm.ee 3 points 1 hour ago

The only one that isn't a red flag here is #1.

[–] captain_aggravated@sh.itjust.works 0 points 2 hours ago* (last edited 2 hours ago)

I think her end goal is to get a divorce. A prerequisite of this goal is to get married, and to get married she has to bamboozle some schmuck into proposing.

  1. Do not think you can delta his mind. If he says he's not ready: believe him & move on immediately.

See, it turns out that men actually do communicate pretty well, but we do it by saying aloud words that have widely agreed upon definitions that most closely resemble the ideas in our head, instead of whatever the hell it is women do. I bet the self-ignorant little bitch even accused him of "wasting her time."

"I TOLD YOU I wasn't looking for anything long-term."

  1. Careful what you say / how you speak to your partner.

Someone took mask off, didn't she? Let him know she actually holds a very low opinion of him, that what she wants has nothing to do with you as a living being, probably spoken in a way that indicates she doesn't even conceptualize you as one? Yeah. Keep the mask on at all times, ladies.

  1. Try to compromise on certain timelines. You can't have everything you want right now.

The euphemisticalness of this one is just delicious. Which specific timelines are these? Could you write down a comprehensive list of "everything you want"? I'm willing to wager the presence and company of the man you're dating isn't on that list, is it Miss Widow To Be?

  1. Ego stroke. It works!

Until it came apart in whatever incident lead to point 2, we were seeing some success with fake compliments. Experiments shall continue.

  1. No "cookie" w/o commitment. (share it with a guy you don't really like the guy)

We're grown up enough to have sex but we're not grown up enough to talk directly about it even to ourselves. Intimacy with a man is not the goal, it is the means by which she intends to achieve her goal.

  1. Don't overshare or give too much too soon. Maintain the mystery

Men drop your ass when they find out what you're really about, huh princess? Better keep them in the dark for longer.

  1. No sleepovers before 90 days. Period!

Gotta find that dude who can't find any better prospects than you within three months.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 42 points 1 day ago (1 children)
[–] Fecundpossum@lemmy.world 12 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Yeah, at no point in my dating life did I ever continue seeking relations past week three. If we’re not fucking by week three, we’re just not fucking.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 18 points 1 day ago (2 children)

It doesn't say no fucking, just don't spend the whole night.

[–] Valmond@lemmy.world 9 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

For me, that is even weirder to be honest.

[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 7 points 19 hours ago* (last edited 19 hours ago) (1 children)

If they can’t stand you in the morning, it wasn’t real anyway. It was all about the cookie.

[–] Mouselemming@sh.itjust.works 0 points 3 hours ago

Maybe it's not you, they just don't like sleeping in cookie crumbs.

[–] SplashJackson@lemmy.ca 3 points 17 hours ago

Ah, the Sexless Innkeeper

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 20 points 1 day ago (2 children)

Some notes:

#1 You present your evidence that him changing his position would be a good thing (for whatever good means here). However, you can't force someone to adopt your position. You can present your argument. Further, you can enumerate your boundaries. If the position you're arguing that he isn't adopting crosses one of your (reasonable) boundaries, you can enumerate what kind of impact it will have on you, and how you would react.

#4 sounds like straight up manipulation. If my partner strokes my ego just to get their way instead of their appreciation/admiration being genuine, that would be a dealbreaker. You don't have to like all the things I like. I'm allowed to have preferences, that may not match yours, and I respect your preferences that may not be mine. However, don't be dishonest with me and my feelings just to extract some kind of concession from me.

#5 You are fully within your rights to establish where your boundaries are, but you need to clearly communicate those to the other person. If you only give away the "cookie" after a relationship has reached a certain point, thats your choice, but fairly early on in the relationship you need to communicate that and let them make their choice. If they leave you because their expectation of receiving the "cookie" is different, thats a good thing. It means you weren't compatible with each other's needs/desires. You are both better off.

#6 We're all a little crazy or broken. In fact, thats usually what makes us unique. When someone accepts you for who and what you are, that is a truly loving experience. However, they can only know who you are when you share it with them. When you do is up to you both how you develop the relationship. The "maintain the mystery" is a bit concerning though. That sounds like game playing.

#7 This is just a repeat of #5

[–] Pandantic@midwest.social 3 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

When someone accepts you for who and what you are, that is a truly loving experience.

This is true, but let’s also admit that there are some things you should not share too early…

[–] partial_accumen@lemmy.world 2 points 17 hours ago

No doubt, I spoke to that with my "when" comment.

[–] Contemporarium@lemm.ee 1 points 1 day ago

I want to punch her “cookie” in the face for being called “cookie” lmao

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago (4 children)

What the fuck does triangle his mind mean?

[–] Flocklesscrow@lemm.ee 3 points 16 hours ago (1 children)
[–] 474D@lemmy.world 65 points 1 day ago (2 children)
[–] cornshark@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Please stop trying to triangle slazer2au's mind about what it says

[–] slazer2au@lemmy.world 8 points 1 day ago

Ah, I assumed it meant time given the context.

[–] Katzelle3@lemmy.world 17 points 1 day ago

Δ is the greek uppercase letter Delta, which is used to denote change or difference in math. In the changemyview subreddit the OP can reply with Δ if any comment under their post has convinced them of a different viewpoint.

[–] NegentropicBoy@lemmy.world 18 points 1 day ago

Change. Delta means change in math/science.

[–] MissJinx@lemmy.world 14 points 1 day ago (3 children)

well it's your cookie ans you can give it to anyone you want to. You can wait 90 days for the perfect cup of milk to dip you cookie in and then the milk is spoiled. Do anything you want without expecting anything from others, expectations will make you sad.

[–] Master@lemm.ee 1 points 20 hours ago (1 children)

If the milk spoiled in 90 days then it was bad milk from the start.

[–] ArcaneSlime@lemmy.dbzer0.com 6 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Idk, tbf if I'm dating a girl and she just won't stay at my house or have me stay over even after she gives me "a cookie" (also I have problems with sex in a relationship being some sort of pavlovian transaction in a strange attempt to train me, but...), I'm going to assume that she isn't really that into me and is kinda just stringing me along until she finds someone "better," so I'll probably be out. Especially if she's not upfront about the deadline so I'm just left to guess at the odd behavior. If it makes me a bad person that I don't want to be treated that way again, so be it I guess.

[–] PlasticExistence@lemmy.world 3 points 15 hours ago

How dare you not enjoy being manipulated!

[–] MNByChoice@midwest.social 6 points 1 day ago

Just bake or buy more cookies and milk.

[–] Gingerlegs@lemmy.world 4 points 1 day ago

God forbid you do what you want!

[–] d00ery@lemmy.world 2 points 22 hours ago (1 children)

Any idea what book the notes were from?

[–] realitista@lemm.ee 4 points 15 hours ago

Original Reddit thread linked posited it was from "The Rules".

[–] bluedope@lemm.ee 6 points 1 day ago

Live and learn.