If you care about these things best would be to use a chat application like Jami which won't end up like WhatsApp.
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Element is ideal but no one uses it, Signal is still good and mostly similar to WhatsApp so easy to adopt. Telegram is utter garbage, bin it immediately in favour of one of the two above. Even if you swap it for WhatsApp it would be better than keeping Telegram.
If you're familiar in any capacity with self hosted tech. Id suggest checking out matrix servers. I setup one for family and friends a few months back. Currently it's only running on a 2 core 8 gig ram vps with around 15 regular users, and ticks over fine. It's routinely used as a phone chat client like WhatsApp, as well as for voice channels instead of discord.
You can utilise multiple different clients; but I would suggest element, as they're the closest to WhatsApp, and therefore the easiest for people to adopt. (Afaik, it's the only matrix client with voice & video call support too).
Matrix servers run on the concept of decentralised federated servers, with the idea that as the technology expands, admins can federate with other matrix servers and allow cross communication (in much the same way the fediverse works).
Despite being in the hands of the zuck, whatsapp is more private and secure than telegram, and not because of any collaboration with X/twitter, it's been that way forever... so go ahead and use it (but if you can, signal is even better on that front).
I downloaded telegram about a year ago when I first heard about it. There is a feature to find and talk to people in the same area as me. It was all just escorts with nudes as their profile pics. I'm honestly surprised Google and Apple allowed it on their stores.
No.
Yes. It's addictive.