This made me think of the term sonder. That random ass dude in the vape store has a story. That story has beauty, sadness, joys, and much more. And so do you. Meeting people there is beautiful and rare.
this post was submitted on 02 Jul 2025
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I’m just some random lady, but I do try to contribute to making the world better. It’s hard though, cause there’s so many people actively giving their all, their effort and their resources, to make it worse.
I do try to contribute to making the world better.
I do this too, but I've found that the far more accessible and long reaching positive impacts are actions of little nudges from a slight negative state to a slight positive one. The mental visual I use is like a meteor is on a collision course with Earth, if you change its path ever so slightly when its far far away from Earth, you'll avoid the catastrophe. The amount of effort and energy is tiny at that point, but the benefit is immeasurably large.
So what do these nudges look like? It could be as little as thanking someone for something they don't expect to get thanked for. It could be being a customer and calling a manager over to compliment a worker's efforts and make sure they get recognized. It could be stopping on the side of the road when someone is having car trouble. It could be seeing someone left some personal belonging when they left, and call out to them or chase after them to let them know, or even just turning in a valuable item to lost and found fully intact. Sometimes its just letting someone know that they've been heard or that they're not alone, or that you appreciate that they exist in this world. None of these things require superpowers or immeasurable wealth. Its little nudges you can push the universe back toward the positive against all the negative going on today.
I've done good work to help queer and trans youth gain acceptance and defense, but my budget is one comma, sometimes not even that much, compared with the four commas of the machines running the federal government, cackling about our suffering, while they post pictures of alligators wearing hats.
It's fine to try, but it's also important to know that it's OK if you don't.
Even a kind smile or sincerely wishing someone a good day can be enough. You can perhaps do more, but even this can be a support for people, something to look forward to on difficult days
He just made zen overcomplicated.
Zen needs a points system. Gamify it to make it more compelling and competitive
What's your favorite app for that? Anyone got recommendations? Something to help me track my progress and remind me to properly Zen like the Zen pros, but also maybe quietly compare my Zen to those around me, starting with my friends & loved ones?
I would be so Zen if I could only get some daily pointers on optimizing my ordinary, unremarkable, totally un-unique experience of reality toward the epitome of Zen©.
There's this paid app called Zenolingo. It's a simple one time fee and of course there's the Zen+ subscription you'll also want because you accrue ZenPoints much faster. They recently introduced ads but you also get ZenPoints from watching them, which imo is pretty fair.
You don't have to pay anything on top of that, but if you're running out on DailyZen then by buying ZenCredits you can top up your ZenAccount
Do you have a deferral code I can use in-app to properly thank you, kind stranger?
That is antithetical to zen.
That's -1 zen points for you.
That's the joke
Wooooosh. My bad.
+1 zen point for self acceptance
0 feels like home.
-1 zen point for you
Didn't they do something like this in The Good Place?
Same exact vibe for people unhappy about their family/romantic situation. You don't live in an after-school sitcom, or Hallmark movie, you're a normal dork living in the real world with real and often very flawed people. Forget about the anime protagonist with the weird hair and spectacular magic fate, you're one of those wieners sitting in the background of scenes. Take it easy on yourself.
Lol ass person
Well, I'm just speaking for myself here, but I never had those expectations of myself. OTHER PEOPLE had those expectations of me. It wasn't until I hit middle age, and said "fuck those assholes" that I truly started being happy.
Don't forget about consent and compassionate prep. 🤌🏼
we really do inflate our sense of importance. so many of the most important parts of a healthy mind are wrapped in nihilism.
I’m not just some random dude though. I’m the guy who fixed that pipe that one time. That was pretty remarkable.
Being a boring nobody is one of the most freeing things in the world.
Because we must be the change we wish to see in the world.
And that's a LOT of change.
So then change yourself, and you've done enough. You can't expect everyone else to listen to reason.
Edit: OOP is probably fine, the issue was mostly caused by my own problems rather than it being something the post-maker needs to correct. I'll leave the original comment below if you still want to read it.
Original comment
This post is really frustrating: it assumes that having self-hatred means that you have superhuman expectations and then uses that to give unwanted advice and judgements.
The OOP is using a subset of a category to assume about the larger category, it's an overgeneralization and hurtful when applied to real people.
spoiler this comment is unfinished I struggled making this comment due to brain block and having trouble thinking through the reason I felt hurt by the post, and I was forced to leave the comment unfinished when I stopped being able to logically think about it entirely (I have severe executive dysfunction)
There was supposed to be a paragraph in the middle pointing out the differences in the common definition of self-hatred and their assumptions:
This is an important thing to leave out, but I didn't want to waste all the time I spent writing the comment by deleting it and I really wanted to mention that this felt hurtful to me blargh :::
I understand where you come from, but the oop literally states "a lot of", so it's about a subset, not the whole group.
And it's still good advice to remember we're just humans imho.
You're right, I think what happened when I wrote that comment was that reading the post triggered a sore spot of mine, (that being self-hatred caused by disability) and I tried to rationalize that as being a fault of the poster rather than it being a fault of my reaction to it.
I appreciate your reply.
Hope you're doing better!
I had a similar reaction. I'm currently unable to work and really struggling without any external structures (thank you ADHD), so telling my severely depressed mind that my self importance is out of control because I'm struggling to accept my new reality is hurtful. I spend enough time despising myself, I don't need anyone to add another reason on top.
I think this post is aimed at healthy people with extremely high self expectations, not those of us struggling with the activities of daily life. At least, that's what I'm choosing to believe.
So, I just wanted to say, you're not alone. I see you, your feelings are valid, and you're enough.
I'm honestly glad I'm just some random jackass. Cause then I can let the small pleasures and joys in my life be meaningful. Not sure if I'm wording that very well, but yeah
Relatable af.
If you're not a billionaire or a republican you're doing an awesome job by just not being a complete dick. Today might be a tough day, but look in the mirror, force a little smile, and tell yourself, damn, at least I didn't end up a fucking billionaire.
what kinda of Ramza ass advice is this
"Surrender now, and die in obscurity!"
Fuck this anti-Ramza propaganda... Delita was a piece of shit and took all the credit, but Ramza was the real hero. If you know, you know.
Been on a Steely Dan kick lately, nice to see them get some love here 💖