this post was submitted on 13 Jul 2025
605 points (98.7% liked)

Not The Onion

17236 readers
1888 users here now

Welcome

We're not The Onion! Not affiliated with them in any way! Not operated by them in any way! All the news here is real!

The Rules

Posts must be:

  1. Links to news stories from...
  2. ...credible sources, with...
  3. ...their original headlines, that...
  4. ...would make people who see the headline think, “That has got to be a story from The Onion, America’s Finest News Source.”

Please also avoid duplicates.

Comments and post content must abide by the server rules for Lemmy.world and generally abstain from trollish, bigoted, or otherwise disruptive behavior that makes this community less fun for everyone.

And that’s basically it!

founded 2 years ago
MODERATORS
top 50 comments
sorted by: hot top controversial new old
[–] MangioneDontMiss@lemmy.ca 180 points 4 days ago (8 children)

cool, but Metallica still sucks for what they did to napster.

[–] surewhynotlem@lemmy.world 30 points 4 days ago (1 children)
[–] aceshigh@lemmy.world 11 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] AtariDump@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)
load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Archangel1313@lemmy.ca 22 points 4 days ago (3 children)

This is basically the same thing.

[–] M0oP0o@mander.xyz 34 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Napster had a standing army? Neat!

[–] BigDanishGuy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago

Nah, we were mostly sitting while searching for obscene "weird al" songs

load more comments (2 replies)
[–] aeternum@lemmy.blahaj.zone 9 points 3 days ago

I still hold a YUUUUGE grudge towards metallica for what they did to napster. I will die on this hill damn it.

[–] rumba@lemmy.zip 5 points 3 days ago (4 children)

Metallica were just a bunch of tone deaf (speech) poster boys for the RIAA.

Napster was too big and too bold. They let themselves become synonymous with pirated music. There's no way capitalism would let that alone. If it wasn't Metallica, it would have to have been someone else.

On the upside, the Case was between Reload and St. Anger; their sales dropped by half and never recovered.

load more comments (4 replies)
load more comments (4 replies)
[–] zod000@lemmy.ml 28 points 3 days ago

At least they are consistent I guess.

[–] deathbird@mander.xyz 49 points 3 days ago (12 children)

What a strange time to be alive.

load more comments (12 replies)
[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 21 points 3 days ago (1 children)
[–] PunkRockSportsFan@fanaticus.social 9 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Cliff was great. And Lars kinda sucks. But

Lars accidentally invented speed thrash metal so

Give Lars a break man.

Edit: canonically, Lars was a mediocre drummer with a ton of common bad drummer habits. Notably he sped up a lot when he was excited or nervous. Metallica, being a bunch of insecure alpha male bros refused to complain that it was too fast out of fear they’d be seen as ninnies by the others so they just went with it. Speed metal was born. Thrash metal. Whatever you wanna call it. It’s a fun story.

Every drummer I know thinks Lars sucks. But Lars has influenced every drummer I know more than they realize.

[–] Schmuppes 9 points 3 days ago (2 children)
[–] LandedGentry@lemmy.zip 10 points 3 days ago

2 metalheads arguing about not just genre but origins of a genre?

I need some popcorn.

[–] kadaverin0@lemmy.dbzer0.com 8 points 3 days ago

Apparently OP has never heard Motorhead or any of the NWOBHM bands.

[–] the_crotch@sh.itjust.works 5 points 3 days ago

He's such a little turd though

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] floo@retrolemmy.com 81 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago) (1 children)

How on earth did it take so long? I’ve been copystruck by these assholes at least three or four dozen times in the 30 years I’ve been pirating … Stuff.

[–] MachineFab812@discuss.tchncs.de 38 points 4 days ago (16 children)

Metallica loves imperialism for the most part, that's how.

[–] Tempus_Fugit@midwest.social 17 points 3 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (5 children)

Imperialism is a strong noun. Sure they've benefited greatly off the back of US imperialism, but Jesus, condemn us all. It's not like they didn't write "Disposable Heros" or "One." Sure they can be litigious twats, but saying they're pro imperialism is peak brain rot.

load more comments (5 replies)
load more comments (15 replies)
[–] sundray@lemmus.org 83 points 4 days ago (2 children)

When reached for comment, James Hetfield responded, "YEAH-YEAAAAH, WHOA."

[–] VerilyFemme@lemmy.blahaj.zone 47 points 4 days ago (4 children)

Give em the Napster treatment

[–] tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip 7 points 3 days ago

Lars has reached his final form

load more comments (3 replies)
[–] abbadon420@sh.itjust.works 63 points 4 days ago (6 children)

Oh fun. This webiste's cookie banner only has a "accept everything" button.

[–] hellfire103@lemmy.ca 22 points 4 days ago

Ah, sorry. My adblocker blocks those annoyong popups. I had no idea.

load more comments (5 replies)
[–] BlameTheAntifa@lemmy.world 25 points 4 days ago

Broken clocks, as they say.

[–] JigglySackles@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (3 children)

Good to know Lars is still a piece of shit and Metallica isn't worth listening to.

[–] ayyy@sh.itjust.works 6 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Doooon’t downloaaaaad this soooooong…

load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments (2 replies)
[–] But_my_mom_says_im_cool@lemmy.world 9 points 3 days ago (1 children)

I’m guessing this is about money, I can’t picture Metallica and James Hetfield being against Trump.

load more comments (1 replies)
[–] Part4@infosec.pub 6 points 3 days ago

Anyone played the star spangled banner backwards, just in case?

[–] RandomStickman@fedia.io 29 points 4 days ago

After striking themselves this is a close 2nd of funniest Metallica strikes

[–] BroBot9000@lemmy.world 20 points 4 days ago (1 children)

Good! Fuck letting Nazis appropriate anything into their culture of bigotry and hate.

[–] Quill7513@slrpnk.net 29 points 4 days ago (4 children)

i have bad news about who metallica has shown themselves to be in the last 5 years

[–] THB@lemmy.world 26 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Out of the loop old-school fan- what have I missed about them?

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (3 replies)
[–] Hugin@lemmy.world 12 points 4 days ago (2 children)

Isn't the US govt exempt from copyright or is it just congress?

[–] bss03@infosec.pub 28 points 4 days ago* (last edited 3 days ago) (3 children)

Works created by the U.S. government do not benefit from copyright protection.

I don't believe either the government in general or congress in specific have the blanket ability to ignore copyrights held by others.

[–] Kolanaki@pawb.social 18 points 4 days ago* (last edited 4 days ago)

This is because works created by the government used tax money to pay for it; meaning it belongs to everyone who pays taxes. This is why american video games don't need special permission to use US military hardware names or depictions, but would have to pay royalties for using brands like Winchester, H&K, or Fabrique Nationale.

load more comments (2 replies)
load more comments (1 replies)
load more comments
view more: next ›