If any of you are looking for any last-minute gift ideas for me, I have one. I'd like [Elon Musk], my boss, right here tonight. I want him brought from his happy holiday slumber over there on Melody Lane with all the other rich people, and I want him brought right here! With a big ribbon on his head! And I want to look him straight in the eye, and I want to tell him what a cheap, lying, no-good, rotten, four-flushing, low-life, snake-licking, dirt-eating, inbred, overstuffed, ignorant, blood-sucking, dog-kissing, brainless, dickless, hopeless, heartless, fat-ass, bug-eyed, stiff-legged, spotty-lipped, worm-headed sack of monkey shit he is! Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where's the Tylenol?

Twitter’s lawyers argued that the company made only an oral promise that was not a contract, and that Texas law should govern the case

Wait, that would've been a valid defense in Texas?

I can't begin to care about news related to Lonnie anymore. I hope lawsuits tank his fortune (or, at least, his shitty social media company).