If you’ve sufficiently dehumanized someone who’s harmed you in a major and who you justifiably hate, fucking them over can make you feel absolutely triumphant. I think there are four problems with revenge:
- It’s inherently escalatory unless you’re really methodical and sneaky about it, which most people aren’t. Accepting revenge as a permissible response to being wronged can make you overlook other options that would help deescalate the situation or bring justice, especially if the wrong wasn’t that big of a deal.
- The pursuit of it can be really unhealthy and pretty obsessive. It’s very much a way of consistently reinforcing rage and feeding it, so if you have the option to not do that, it’s probably best not to.
- Dehumanizing anyone is a psychologically destructive act. Sometimes people don’t have a choice and not everyone deserves empathy from everyone at all times for all their actions in equal measure. But again, if you have a choice, dehumanizing people isn’t great for you.
- You can be wrong. Simple as. You can be wrong about the perpetrator. You can be wrong about the act itself. You can be wrong about a bunch of things and taking revenge on someone who didn’t deserve it is just needless harm.