-Emma-

Okay, so here is a running list of the recent transphobic trolls from lemmy.today

• @DiscordMod1990yyyyx@lemmy.today
• @TiredOfWokeMods@lemmy.today
• @Hshsjsjsjjsnsnshs555@lemmy.today
• @VeganTomato@lemmy.today
• @Vegan2mato@lemmy.today

There is definitely a problem of transphobic trolls coming from that instance.

I maybe got a little carried away in this comment.

What really pissed you off in a therapy session?

TL,DR: lack of privacy, security, communication, and respect

I'm not going to discuss the conservative "therapist" I had. I did eventually get an LGBTQ-friendly therapist.

I discovered that my therapist was typing up her notes on a Windows computer with a keylogger enabled by default, sending the data to Microsoft. The notes were also stored unencrypted on a server accessible by the entire IT department of the clinic.

She didn't understand the issue. This clearly voids patient-doctor confidentiality, and it destroyed my trust in the clinic.

I've experienced another issue while searching for a new therapist.

I found a therapist on the psychology today site that listed a full address. I showed up to make an appointment for a first session just to learn that she doesn't accept new clients without a phone call or email.

The only reason I had considered her was that she listed a full address, implying that phone and email weren't needed.

So I would recommend clearly communicating things like this, be privacy-conscious, and respect patient-doctor confidentiality. Without these fundamentals, there is no foundation of trust and respect.

What is the most important thing for me to try to understand?

I think the most important thing to understand for trans patients is that everyone's transition is unique, including the personal story.

So for instance, some trans girls/women say they were always a girl/woman, while others say they became a girl/woman.

It's important to listen and understand the individual and not get ahead of yourself.

I hope this is helpful, or at least interesting.

I browsed the communities on their instance using mlmym so I could see the full list. Then I tried to access the lemmytoday community from my Mbin account, and I got a 404 error.

So that's what I meant when I said I can't report things to the admins on lemmy.today, since I can't post on their dedicated community.

I've noticed recently that my instance can't fetch new communities anymore. For instance, I fetched all of the good LGBTQ+ accounts months ago without an account, and they all eventually federated across. But I can't fetch asktransgender@lemmy.blahaj.zone or any other communities that aren't already federated. I was thankfully able to fetch trans@lemmy.blahaj.zone before this issue.

On another note, if moderator actions don't federate across instances, does that mean when I see this:

[Thread, post or comment was deleted by the moderator]

the comment was deleted by a moderator on my Mbin instance, rather than a moderator on Blahaj? In that case, I would think my reports are working.

Oh, okay. I thought that de-federated instances couldn't interact at all, but I guess one-way interactions are still possible. Interesting. Thanks for the info.

I can't seem to interact with any communities from that instance, so I can't report anything to their admins.

The eviltoast.org instance doesn't seem to have much local content, and a recent post asks:

Why has Lemmy.ml and feddit.UK defederated from eviltoast

My instance seems to have de-federated from it already as well.

The lemmy.today instance has more local content and engagement, but I can't seem to interact with its communities from my Mbin account. So I can't contact their admins and report issues.

Maybe the mod from Blahaj that removed their content can report the problem to their instance?

not much of what you’re asking matters as you’re not affected.

I don't understand. This account of mine is only used to interact with LGBTQ+ communities, mostly on Blahaj. Browsing Blahaj communities on Mbin, I do not see anything from instances Blahaj has de-federated. Isn't that how de-federation works?

Hey, I don't think enough people are going to see the update without another comment to bump it up in the Active sorting. Maybe there should also be another post?

I'm really worried, but I'm too far away to help. I really hope someone can.

I'd like to respond to some of the things discussed in this thread, but I don't want to directly reply to anyone. I just want to share my perspective, not argue.

Transgender is currently accepted as an umbrella term and includes a variety of identities. What these identities have in common is that they are not cisgender. Disagreements about which identities fall under the trans umbrella are really about the specificity of the label itself. Some people seem to want the umbrella to be split into two distinctly different labels, with one being specifically for trans people who seek medical transition.

It all comes down to the definition of transgender as an umbrella term. Definitions of terms change, and it's not unreasonable to think that transgender may change meaning again in the near future. But right now, "not cisgender" is what defines transgender identities, and that includes non-binary people and trans people that don't seek medical transition.

As someone medically transitioning by HRT and seeking SRS, my identity is not diminished in any way by acknowledging the validity of other identities. My recent meme explicitly explains my desire for SRS, and there was no push-back. That's because I was explaining my own transition and not attempting to define other people.

Not all trans people seek medical transition, and that's valid. Not all trans people seeking medical transition want both HRT and SRS, and that's also valid. And what trans people want for themselves can change. It's important that non-cisgender people be accepted as transgender so they can accept themselves. Big questions about possible medical transition can be decided later.

Our enemies are the transphobes attacking our freedoms. Let's be kind to our fellow trans people.

❤️

I'm over a year on HRT and still don't fully understand my own sexuality. Is it attraction to women or envy? Is it attraction to men or a need for gender affirmation? Idk. I just know that I have strong desires and ambitions. 🫠

Hey Keris, I'm too far away to help, but I've been following the situation. I understand your feelings of helplessness and dismay, and I can relate to the desire to admit defeat.

You must not give up.

When I was in a very dark place, there was one thing that gave me comfort and the strength to persist:

If I truly give up right now, then I literally have nothing to lose. So I may as well do whatever the fuck I want in this moment. And what I want is to live for myself and not give up!

I know it's a weird way of looking at it, but I'm weird. When I am at that lowest feeling, life looks like a video game where I am free to do what I must do to achieve my goals.

It can be difficult to stay in this mindset. I have found myself switching back and forth between calm resolve and uncontrollable full-body shaking. But I have so far always managed to persist, to keep going for myself.

Please believe in yourself.

❤️

❤️