AdmiralDoohickey

I don't really like multiplayer games, but thanks for the offer

1. Go to steam library
2. Play nothing
3. Refresh hexbear
4. Read 1-2 replies
5. Go to Youtube's New for You
6. Find nothing
7. Repeat

I am in one of my "I can't find anything to do even though I have a ton of things to try" phases again. My brain is so fickle sometimes

I might not be able to find more cool stuff due to work, but I truly want to share everything I found with the world somehow. I even dreamt that I talked about ZeroRanger with a coworker and that I agitated to all of my coworkers about communism. I want to express myself without fearing that neurotypicals will find me weird but I don't know how.

I always wondered why my parents had such mid taste as I grew up, but when I found their old records I understood. They weren't always like that, when they were young, they had their favs but work and children changed everything. Now I understand this from experience as well, I don't find as many hidden gem songs, anime, games etc anymore, I just don't have the time and energy and stick to what I know. I also suspect that this is one of the reasons why older people have old beliefs, they just don't have the time to think about things. This effect honestly scares me, I can already feel that I am much more boring than 8 months before, and I don't have the time to follow the news, read theory and essays, and experience some peak media like I did before. I only feel like my old, cooler self on drugs, I hate this

They do want to filter us I think. In one interview I had to take a 30min personality test where the questions were pretty much a neurodivergence filter. The interviewer (also CEO of the company) pretty much grilled me over not being judged as kind or social enough by the test. That was a pretty humiliating interview ngnl

I don't know if its nostalgia or just a natural part of adulting in hellworld, but I feel a weight crushing me everyday and I cannot enjoy things as much as before. It began in earnest once I graduated and unemployment broke me enough to accept any terms for a job (except working in a defense company), then after 8 months of work broke me further I guess. I just want to feel alive again

Yeah she actually told me that if I prove my worth to the company I will be rewarded with the freedom to work as I need, which is

The company doctor told me to mask in order to fit with my neurotypical group better in the end, so that I will not be ostracized. Also to not read stuff on my phone when done with my work for the day (I am a fast worker) so that others won't judge, and that I should watch some of the company's webinars to relax instead. I hate it here. I only got entangled with her to begin with in order to receive accomodations (which I did for a month or so, until my manager's boss took notice and told me that no exceptions are allowed to RTO)

I feel like I have grown too old for challenging video games (I am 25yo lol). If I can't beat a part in 3-5 tries then it's over for me. Oh well

How tf do you get good at posting? I have some insightful / funny thoughts from time to time but never when I am near a device. Do you note them down or something?

Trails of Cold Steel. I think I am near the end now and I kind of regret ever starting this one, it's a steep downgrade compared to the previous five games in the series. It's not like I can play some real peak while working every day though, so I will play what I can