If it’s internet connected you can hack it and commandeer it. If it has an LTE modem in it, its location will be traceable by authorities at all times.
Alternately, throw some sand on it. Those joints were developed in relatively sterile conditions and are exposed. The underlying components are too fine to function with a bunch of sand in their joints.
Facts. The whole “every user is a secret Beatnik alt” thing was a meme for a reason, too. Wasn’t even the only account. Some high quality bits, too.