I love that this conversation is taking place between the school librarian and the substitute teachers

The triceratops looks pretty shady to me

My grandmother said, "The time for tarts are when they're passing." She meant "take what's offered when its offered," but I want it printed on the programs at my funeral

This is one of those things that I never realized how much I wanted and needed it until I just learned of its existence

Trans men pretending to be women aren't women, they're men.

That's what you meant, right?

My first employer was Waffle House.

I was 16 on a dead afternoon shift after school one day when a couple came in and ordered some steak and eggs. I gave them their silverware plus some steak knives and wait for the food to cook. The only other people in the building are the meth-seasoned cook and this little old man and his little 6 year old daughter, so I'm back on my homework while I wait.

Another group comes in, three guys. I'm getting their menus ready so I can seat them and they were already gone. Whatever.

Five minutes later one of the guys comes back, walks swiftly and directly to the couple's table, grabs a steak knife, and tries to STAB THE GUY because apparently the woman was his girlfriend and the guy was now persona non grata for Stabby Man.

Before I even process what's going on, Little Old Man has teleported across the dining room and grappled this guy into a secure hold. Meanwhile he's speaking to me in a sweet gentle grandfatherly voice, telling me to get the phone, call 911, etc.

Turns out the little old man was a retired Texas Ranger and if he wasn't there that day, that probably would have been a really messy, traumatic day for everyone.

Again: this was a Wednesday afternoon in full daylight, not 4 am Waffle House Chaos Afterhours

They meant "Ohio is boring and there is nothing to do there," I believe

If I'm telling someone else how long a drive will be, I tell them the drive time without stops. If I'm telling someone how long a drive is/was for me personally, I'll include time for stops and note how many times I stopped along the way, for context

If gold were a thing here, I would give it to you

Instead of Reddit Gold, may I offer you Lemmy Cold 🧊 ?

Hair salons, nail salons, valet, dog grooming, any sort of contract work around your house like lawnmowing, bars....

The first ten seconds after you get into a car in the summer and it's toasty and warm. Even when I'm eager for the AC, I still savor those first few seconds, like sitting in laundry fresh from the dryer.

Absolutely the fuck not. There's no room at the Inn for whores like me on Meta apps ¯\(ツ)/¯

I was permanently banned from Instagram a few months ago because I'm a pornstar. A lot of industry folks were banned around the same time. In retrospect, I wonder if they were trying to clean up the app ahead of the launch of Threads.

I had experienced temporary bans before over the years, we all had. But losing my account and then having my new account banned again within two days, all without posting anything even approaching NSFW was fucking awful. It really hurt a lot of us financially.

So fuck no, I'm not going to spend my time creating content and IP, posting photos, and engaging with my fans on their new platform. I doubt I could join it anyway.