We gotta arm the teacher fish

I feel ashamed to immediately get this reference

Yeah the Meijer by us is sensitive like this and when it starts inevitably flashing with approval needed an employee comes over, scans their badge and an overhead security camera clip of me scanning the last item displays on screen.

Which is so awkward to have to stand there with this employee who I'm sure is just as sick of the process as I am.

I don't shoplift and I enter all produce honestly, it makes me want to start scanning my avacado as bananas.

Drat, foiled again by that damn speakerphone loophole

-The Police

Whoops, sorry, that was my Lincoln Park discography

Well, now you have to move to the panhandle after that commercial, let us know how it is.

More like "what broke?"

I was banned from /r/funny for commenting on a spam post, place is so dumb

Non-Euclidean anatomy

What are you going to do, stab me?

-Student stabbed to death

I've also never seen an original of the format this is from, glad I wasn't the only one confused

I remember one time my dad wanted me to look at his pc because the "browser was getting smaller". Opened IE and he somehow installed the same toolbar three times, they were stacked on top of each other.

I didn't know that was even possible until then.