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When Lieutenant Ortegas crashes on the wrong side of a wormhole, she finds an injured lady Gorns to play chess with and who’s also willing to be big spoon. But after Uhura lies to Pike about a dangerous rescue attempt, La’An ends up shooting Gornette on sight and Ortegas only keeps some of her memories. Where has NuTrek overcorrected? How can a hobo encampment feel instantly more comforting? What don’t you get on any other Star Trek podcast? It’s the episode that solves its issues with either Metrons or ADR.

When the Entrepreneur pulls up on LV-426, the crashed ship on the surface does indeed have alien eggs aboard. But after one of them blasts in Archer’s face without asking, he becomes more and more willing to sacrifice the mission for his personal obsession with saving the children. How many Xenomorphs would it take to conquer Earth? What’s never an accident? Do baby Insectoids have a favorite food? It’s the episode that explores Trip’s gravy-based fantasies.

When the Entrepreneur is the only ship in range to fix a pre-warp Chernobyl, the away team has to become peak Vulcan and unfortunately they decide not to change back. But after destroying both personal and professional lives, Una gets Doug involved and Spock has to dance La’An’s katra back to reality. What would look great on The Sphere in Vegas? Where does Pike go when he gets kicked out of his quarters? Who has a very short refractory period? It’s the episode that’s brokering peace.

When there’s more unstable space queso on their path to Azati Prime, the crew has to go into stasis while Dr. Phlox looks after the ship. But after he starts hearing things and hallucinating Swedish ghosts, he almost kills Commander Tucker before finishing the mission all on his own. What’s different about dog walking in the future? Whose face is left-most on Mount Footmore? How is Trip like a long-haul truck driver? It’s the episode that compares afternoon coffee to no afternoon coffee.

When Humberto’s documentary turns out to be a hit piece, asking squishy questions about colonialism leads to mostly having security footage. But after the weaponized Jikaru takes to space and can’t be controlled by the Entrepreneur, they grant its final wish in defiance of the Lutani. Who couldn’t be reached for an interview? When is an ECU not threatening? How would Scotty deal with an injured horse? It’s the episode with 9 million sprained ankles.

When the Entrepreneur happens upon some expanding space queso, they rescue an alien pod and find a hotboxing party guy inside. But after various types of tension start boiling over on the ship, the new mystery alien disappears with a vaguely Xindi threat. Where are there no rules about having a crock pot? Which kind of alien never gets considered on Star Trek? What has Dark Archer started calling the airlock? It’s the episode that’s exciting, but also shocking and disquieting.

When James T. Kirk is super bored as First Officer on the Farragut, his run of bad decisions starts even before a Trogdor attack thrusts him into command. But after Enterprise saves his ass and gets chomped by the scavenger ship instead, now Captain Kirk has to figure out his leadership style in time to set a trap and own the consequences. Who isn’t too old for a one-day pod turn? What will be the actual relics of our civilization? Which character would have been perfect for thruster duty? It’s the episode that’s also powered by aldentium.

When the Entrepreneur captures Degra and sets up an elaborate ruse, Captain Archer starts to gain his trust to extract more information about the weapon’s construction. But after getting wise to his circumstances and losing in close combat to Archer, Degra’s memory is wiped again after a risky double Barashing. What’s the only thing that foretells a ninja hippy? Where is it ok to have nine girlfriends? Which alien ship comes with a treasure chest? It’s the episode with a couple of regerttable tattoos.

When Ensign Gamble joins his first dustbuster club, he picks up a grenade and gets an emergency trip back to sicksbay. But after the rest of the team solves the escape room puzzle, Captain Batel goes Gorn on Gamble’s ghost and Pelia opts for maximum drama. What’s the only thing more embarrassing than being a documentary filmmaker? Who got a macaron for going poopoo in the potty? Why didn’t Chapel do bits on blood magic? It’s the episode that adds to the list of going concerns.

When La’an gets assigned to trash the holodeck during a neutron star mission, Scotty sets her up with a terrible crime to investigate. But after she requests some help and Spock joins the illusion, their lack of weird energy helps her solve the case in time to save the Entrepreneur. Who’s aggressively skating towards an award in this episode? Which character has ‘tism rizz? What needs to be more of a bit? It’s the episode that always nails the Riker maneuver.

When Shran rescues the Entrepreneur from a foamy green anomaly, his crew comes aboard to help with repairs while another Xindi weapon test gets underway. But after a disappointing result for Degra and a double-cross by the Andorians, Captain Archer wins the game of chicken and gets a mysterious message from a mission sympathizer. Which character can any freelancer sympathize with? When is it hard to balance the ledger? What’s next for the Ice Desk? It’s the episode that has a new favorite Enterprise alien.

When the protégés get an undercover mission to Solum, they don’t have Starfleet’s cover if they’re caught snooping around on the surface. But when they meet a pre-bad Asencia and immediately trust her completely, Gwyn’s decision to split up the team throws Wesley’s future calculations off. How is Seattle better than New York City? What does El Salvador have that Rura Penthe doesn’t? Who’s leaving bodies in the rocks? It’s the episode where fastidiousness wins over spite.