Iceblade02

Finding out part of fucking around.

Countries don't usually take kindly to people or organizations that break into military bases and vandalize equipment.

iirc a large reason is that trees for paper & lumber can be grown in areas less suitable for agriculture, whilst hemp competes with foodstuffs. Hence, despite the hemp being a more efficient producer of cellulose, it may be less economically efficient due to the relatively high value of alternate uses for the same land.

But when everyone is anonymous here on Lemmy, I feel comfortable venting about things. I dunno why this feels different, but I prefer it.

Part of the reason is that the professionals are constantly in it and either get desensitized (or burn out) and stop empathizing as much with their patients. Haven't seen it with mental health professionals, but the most jaded folks I've ever met were nurses/ANs approaching the end of their career.

Internet strangers on the other hand - we can step away whenever we want, which makes emotional investment less of a burden.

This handle some irl folks know about, but it isn't really feasible to find out who I am IRL from anything online associated with it.

Unironically why it can be safer to "trust" in anonymous internet strangers who don't know who you are and can't find out. Unironically how I learned to be able to start opening up about shit again and finally an irl friend who I can vent to (a little), but there's still things I'd never bring up with someone who knows who I am.

Yeah I'm in a single payer system so at least I don't have to pay anything excessive, but still.

Honestly, having worked in healthcare, you never, never ever want to answer anything but "no" to the question "do you want to die?"

It's basically one of the few things that's liable to get your rights to autonomy nullified in an instant. Worst thing is the professionals don't have much choice in this either as not acting on someone having indices of suicidality may cause them to be fired or even lose their professional license.

What I said to the question was "No, and if I did I wouldn't tell you, or even be here in the first place. But, I can envision future scenarios where I might consider it as an option if I don't manage to figure my shit out, which is why I'm here. I have no intention of suffering unneccessarily if a day comes where I'm miserable and there's no longer any hope for improvement."

Thanks for the suggestion, I'll have a look. Seems like it's available for reading at archive.org

Personally I've only been to a therapist once - got access to an online cbt program that ended up being of more help than she was (which wasn't a whole lot).

Mostly just me talking, highlighting this and that. Her advice basically boiled down to needing to learn to be happy with where I am in life, setting lower ambitions and talking more to people around me.

Kinda rubbed me the wrong way because I specifically mentioned cause and effect with procrastinating on certain things and ended up being increasingly unhappy/distressed because of that - noting that I'd like advice on how to better align my actions with my goals (not vice versa).

I'm still a young guy and yeah there's things I'd like to achieve in life. Not exactly revolutionary stuff, just basic human life goal shit: finishing my education, getting a job, owning a home, finding love y'know.

That first bit always feels so false and icky. Like, no I didn't open up chatGPT to have my butt licked every other sentence. I just need the syntax for X or Y, and no I'm not delving into interesting depths of typescript. I'm monkeypatching the code to make a certain thing work and probably leaving a trail of wanton destruction behind every step I go.

It's possible to reduce the privacy issues by using APIs with a local frontend. Given that APIs usually cater to companies instead of end consumers they actually have simple opt-outs for information logging.

Requires a bit of know-how, and you'll be paying for your llm per use (not that bad actually, I've personally averaged <10$/yr in api costs) but at least you get to have all your personal issues on your local device instead.

For a chatGPT-like experience you probably want the ooga booga web generation ui but there's others too.