I feel like I am at a point in my transition where I might benefit from adding progesterone into the equation. However, I have heard wildly different opinions on whether it has any impact at all, and criticism of generally available creams on amazon for not being the same as human progesterone, since they are often derived from plants.

What do you girls think? Are they junk, or are there some out there worth trying?

As of this post, I am about seven and a half months into my transition (mtf). I've had talks with all of my friends, and all of those went great! I have been overwhelmed with the love and support from everybody. Some of those conversations were scarier for me than others, but none of them were as intimidating to me as a conversation with my parents.

I don't live with my parents, and I haven't for a long time. I have a complicated relationship with them because my childhood was less than ideal, but they recognize that they did a bad job, and we are all in much better places in our lives. Since we've all been living well, I've been making an effort to try to become better friends with them. This meant that I would probably have to talk with them about my transition some time, because it was getting more and more obvious in my appearance.

Yesterday, I took my mom out to try sushi for the first time. We talked candidly about a lot of things, but I didn't feel like the middle of the sushi restaurant was an ideal place to spring transition news. I had a really great time hanging out with her, and she said that she did as well! That was the first time the two of us had hung out since I can remember. The interaction was so positive that it made me feel guilty for not being open with her about my identity.

That guilt kind of ate at me for the rest of the day, and so in the evening I sent her a message to schedule a call. She responded very quickly to tell me that she was open to call immediately, and I took her up on it. After some pleasantries, I informed her through tears that I am going through a transition, and have been for many months. She calmly listened to my explanation, then tactfully replied that both she and my dad already knew this, and figured I would probably want to talk to them about it some day.

I do not know why, but this made me want to throw up. Something about Dorothy peeking through my Wizard of Oz curtain, seeing me handling the levers and dials, and then waiting patiently for me to decide that it was time to address it gave me an unpleasant taste. Truthfully, the talk went about as well as I could have expected. Once we got past the, "Uh, yeah. We could tell," part of the conversation, she made sure that I knew that the two of them love me, and they are happy that I am happy. She said it in a way that conveyed she didn't know why I was doing it, but would love me through whatever. That didn't surprise me at all, and was fine.

Despite the talk going pretty well, I have spent the past day flashing back to that conversation and wanting to scream lol. It has been a while since I've seen a therapist, and I have a feeling that I might have some complicated emotions bound up that I'm not consciously aware of. Because I have been feeling so strongly about it, I thought perhaps writing it down and possibly getting some input from fellow trans people might help.

tl;dr, Told my mom I was transitioning. Apparently she already knew, and nobody was bringing it up. Made me feel ill, like screaming, etc. Unsure why, talk went fine.

This last weekend, my friend encouraged me to try learning puppy dog eyeliner since he thought it complemented my eye shape. I'd never used liquid liner before, and wow, it is tough to master lol.

Trying to achieve this look quickly became my Dark Souls; get off work, sit at vanity, get ass metaphorically kicked SO hard, wipe off, repeat.

Last night I finally got something mostly symmetrical and clean, and I'm really happy with it! Feeline quite pleased overall. Just wanted to share!

I was out helping my grandma do some shopping when an employee came up and asked, "are you ladies finding everything ok?"

I am not out to my family but I have been on E for a number of months and got a bob recently, so I guess that was enough for a stranger to guess woman over man. I was even wearing a big Carhartt jacket my parents got me because it's v cold rn, so it was definitely not my outfit!

Felt pretty cool, and I just wanted to share!

Visited my mom and dad for thanksgiving, and one of the first things my mom said to me was "Wow! Your hair and skin look great. What are you doing differently?"

I am not yet ready for the awkward conversation that coming out will entail, so I had to restrain myself from saying "yeah I just inject e once a week" lol.

I'm only about four months in, but people seem to be noticing positive differences in me. Pretty cool!

She's called Theseus.

This death trap is built on the frame of a junker 1985 Honda Shadow I bought for very cheap. It combines a 30AH 48 volt battery with a beefy Kelley Controls bldc controller and a 3kw motor which seems to be intended for golf carts.

On a flat, straight road this thing can achieve 50mph, limiting it solely to city use, but it climbs hills decently well and has gotten me to work and back many, many times.

The front sprocket has 16 teeth, and the rear sports a whopping 72. This is to compensate for the very high speed of the motor but frankly pathetic torque. At a lower gear ratio, this under-powered machine would not be capable of hauling its heavy 80s frame up my long and steep driveway.

It is ugly and probably quite dangerous, but I love it very much.

This weekend I was camping at a faire with some friends, and resolved to tell the last person in my friend group about my transition.

The talks went over really well with my other friends, but I have been pretty anxious for each of them because I feel like I never have a good idea what the reaction will be.

In full disclosure, by this point in the faire all of us were fairly inebriated. The group had kind of fractured off into smaller clusters, so it was just me, my friend I hadn't told, and one that I had. We were walking back to camp from a spot where we had been watching the stars, and I felt like it was as good an opportunity as any.

"Hey, now that we have a moment, I've got something I've gotta tell you," I said. My friend inmediately froze in place, arms spread in a T-pose, eyes wide like a deer in headlights. I thought perhaps the way I lead into the convo sounded like I was going to say something grave lol.

"So... I've been going through a bit of a transition," I say. She immediately loosens up once again and nods, following along with what I'm saying. "I've actually been on E for about two months." "Uh huh," she says, with a look that implied she was waiting for the bombshell she expected me to drop.

"That's it," I said after a moment. "That's all the news," I followed, laughing a little. "Oh ok, nice!" She replies. "That's cool!" I guess she expected me to tell her I had cancer or something. I told her it seemed like she was taking this very casually, and she said that gender has always been whatever to her. "You're still my friend. I think that's awesome!"

I had not anticipated such immediate and unflinching acceptance. I count myself very fortunate to have such cool friends. Anyway, I thought it might be nice to put that story out there! I am still kind of reeling from the support I have received, and wanted to share.

Hope you all are having a good week!

I told my little discord community about my transition and their response made me smile. I like that imagery a lot, very poetic lol

Showed my friend when my estrogen arrived, and his response made me laugh.

I hope this is not offensive to those of faith! I just thought this image paired with injecting E was very funny

I am more than a month into HRT, and I have been seeing some small changes over the month but not experiencing that ache people talk about at all. I was hoping that perhaps I would be immune and it would never start, but nope lol.

Seems like it is here to stay!

I was supremely anxious about starting for a long time, worried there would be sudden changes that would disrupt my social life or that I would get cold feet.

I am sure that any body differences I am seeing are mostly in my head because it has been such a short time, but I am more confident than ever that I am on the right path, at least. I feel really good, and I had some talks with friends about this transition and they were all really supportive. I had the DIY HRT tab open in my browser for like six months, so I am glad that I finally got over my fear and. (I going through PP and not doing DIY)

Just wanted to let you all know how it's been going!

Head empty. No thoughts