MorallyCoffee

joined 1 year ago
[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I will not drink with you all today.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I will not drink with you all today.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 6 points 1 month ago

I'm kind of surprised (yes, naively) that some people aren't even aware enough of the wider culture to think twice about saying things like that.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 5 points 1 month ago

I will not drink with you today.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 4 points 2 months ago

I will not drink with you today.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

I won't drink with you today.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 5 points 2 months ago

I won't drink with you today.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 12 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Thank you. About professional support: yes and no. I've been a basket case my (39) entire life and finally saw a therapist intensively for "depression" age 29-35. I benefited a lot from him, but for some reason in all those years he never mentioned CPTSD, even though I was a classic case and would have benefited tremendously from that psychoeducation. I only learned about it a few years ago when desperately googling for explanations for my behavior. So the therapy session I have scheduled for next week will be the first one for CPTSD, and I plan to ask about IFS.

As for me and my wife, I'll have to make her a companion only in the most general sense, because she is understandably done rescuing me (her words). I can be vulnerable with her, but not on this topic. And what makes it worse is that we live a pretty secluded life together. We're both basically immigrants in the town we live in, we don't really fit in, we're far from our families, and we both have strong personalities that tend to repel as much as they attract. We are all we have, which makes my drinking even more of a betrayal :(

Maybe I'll mention the seclusion to the therapist as well.

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submitted 2 months ago* (last edited 2 months ago) by MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml to c/stopdrinking@lemmy.world
 

I know this sub isn't very active, but I don't have accounts anywhere else, so here goes . . .

I don't want to get into details right now, but my wife has made me promise to divorce her if I ever drink again . . . my heart is broken for the pain I have caused her to get us to this point.

I feel so stupid that this isn't the first time I've been here, either. I feel so stupid saying "this time it's for real," because we all know what to expect when an alcoholic says that :(

In terms of quantity, I've actually been drinking much less the past few years, but I think the infrequency might even be making my "mistakes" even worse when they happen :( So I don't have the excuse of infrequency. I can truly never drink again, and I'm so afraid I'm going to mess it up. I have CPTSD with terrible emotional flashbacks, and I'm afraid I'll lose control during one of them and ruin my marriage once and for all :(

So this is me, I'm here to join the stopdrinking community. Any encouragement, stories or advice you can give would be most welcome. Thank you.

Edit: Wow, thank you for the outpouring of support! I can't reply to all of your comments, but know that I've read and treasure them!

 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/22551453

A little procedure I follow to help noobs get seen by others. I used to do what most people do and boost their # introduction posts, but I think most people want to see more natural engagement and sort of glaze their eyes over when they see the intro tag, so here's what I do:

  1. Create a list called "noobs," hidden from home timeline.
  2. Go to # introduction
  3. Follow every poster with fewer than say 25 followers and add them to "noobs" 
  4. Periodically browse "noobs" for interesting* toots, boost them
  5. Periodically unfollow accounts in "noobs" (do not remove from list! That puts them in your main stable of follows!)
  6. Repeat

I don't consider it spam-following, because I'm actually giving these accounts a good deal of attention and a good shot at being seen by a few hundred more people. Often I'll genuinely like an account and remove them from the list instead of unfollowing them. I haven't really tested this method's effectiveness, but I thought I'd put it here for others to consider.

*I have a fairly eclectic profile, so I'll boost just about anything that's not asinine.

 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.ml/post/22551453

A little procedure I follow to help noobs get seen by others. I used to do what most people do and boost their # introduction posts, but I think most people want to see more natural engagement and sort of glaze their eyes over when they see the intro tag, so here's what I do:

  1. Create a list called "noobs," hidden from home timeline.
  2. Go to # introduction
  3. Follow every poster with fewer than say 25 followers and add them to "noobs" 
  4. Periodically browse "noobs" for interesting* toots, boost them
  5. Periodically unfollow accounts in "noobs" (do not remove from list! That puts them in your main stable of follows!)
  6. Repeat

I don't consider it spam-following, because I'm actually giving these accounts a good deal of attention and a good shot at being seen by a few hundred more people. Often I'll genuinely like an account and remove them from the list instead of unfollowing them. I haven't really tested this method's effectiveness, but I thought I'd put it here for others to consider.

*I have a fairly eclectic profile, so I'll boost just about anything that's not asinine.

[–] MorallyCoffee@lemmy.ml 2 points 7 months ago

This is more about getting people followers than helping them find accounts to follow.

 

A little procedure I follow to help noobs get seen by others. I used to do what most people do and boost their # introduction posts, but I think most people want to see more natural engagement and sort of glaze their eyes over when they see the intro tag, so here's what I do:

  1. Create a list called "noobs," hidden from home timeline.
  2. Go to # introduction
  3. Follow every poster with fewer than say 25 followers and add them to "noobs" 
  4. Periodically browse "noobs" for interesting* toots, boost them
  5. Periodically unfollow accounts in "noobs" (do not remove from list! That puts them in your main stable of follows!)
  6. Repeat

I don't consider it spam-following, because I'm actually giving these accounts a good deal of attention and a good shot at being seen by a few hundred more people. Often I'll genuinely like an account and remove them from the list instead of unfollowing them. I haven't really tested this method's effectiveness, but I thought I'd put it here for others to consider.

*I have a fairly eclectic profile, so I'll boost just about anything that's not asinine.

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