[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 34 points 9 months ago

Maybe because they’re not delusional about the state of the world we live in that these right wing nut jobs seem to be hell-bent on making worse until we’re all living in a post-apocalyptic Gillead. I’m fucking depressed too.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 25 points 9 months ago

Have you ever heard the phrase “salt the earth”? That’s the fastest way to kill everything in the soil and make sure nothing grows for a very very long time.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 40 points 9 months ago* (last edited 9 months ago)

Men show emotions all the time. The problem is that the only “acceptable” emotion is anger or resentment. People of any gender validate other peoples feelings based on their own experiences. Because women’s emotions are invalidated as weak or useless, women tend to be more sympathetic to others who experience that same invalidation.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 26 points 9 months ago

Don’t give me hope that cnn is going to get some of their integrity back.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 21 points 9 months ago

They’re lawyered to hell. And they’re aggressive. For fuck sakes they even raided an fbi office and stole all the evidence and no one did a damned thing about it. They have enough money to be able to operate above the law, and certainly above any separation of church and state. Our laws operate on a level that allows them to litigate themselves out of messes, regardless of guilt or innocence, because they have the money to afford people to exploit loopholes, not because they aren’t guilty.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 27 points 9 months ago

Someone has adhd. This is the exact amount if insanity I would participate in.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 175 points 9 months ago

My best friend might be dying because she’s a fat woman. For over 15 years I’ve watched doctors tell her that her problem is that she needs to lose weight, prescribe weight loss plans, send her to eating clinics, suggest surgery as a solution to her horrific periods that last for months, massive fibroids (I’m talking 12 x 6 inch clots here ladies), fainting, breathing trouble and chest pains, constant body and joint pain, anemia. The last five years she’s barely even been able to leave the house and blacks out walking to the bathroom and it still wasn’t an issue, and all her fault for being fat.

Turns out that iron deficiency was damaging her heart. Those clots were a symptom of another problem. The pain, the breathing issues, all of it would have existed whether she was fat or thin because she has fucking cancer that has likely metastasized to her lungs. No one checked, no one considered any other options until one er doctor was horrified to see her history of iron transfusions and hadn’t checked her heart health , which led to further testing of the non-fat-lady variety.

It’s bad guys. It’s a bad cancer, rare, and has had decades to grow, because she’s a dramatic, emotional, paranoid female who’s fat.

I guarantee any fat man in the world can walk into an ER with chest pains, and they’d check his heart, not put him on a diet.

4

Ok. Hear me out.

Disclaimer - proposing at someone’s wedding or announcing a pregnancy at someone else’s event, if you don’t have the explicit permission of the hosts, is never ok.

I would have been overjoyed if someone got engaged at my wedding. I would have been so insanely happy if someone had announced their pregnancy at my baby shower. I give zero fucks about having to be the centre of attention and like, it was MY wedding and my shower, so it’s right in the title that it’s all about me. In fact, just as I’m flattered to be asked to be in a bridal party, I’d be flattered as fuck if someone picked my event to announce something huge- I would feel extra included in their massive life moment. I would feel like I was important to them. My ego would be purring that they were going to have my event be part of their story forever.

A wedding is your special day, yes, and ultimately what the bride and groom wants is what should happen-period. But weddings are also about family and friends. The people you invite were a part of your life before you met and fell in love, and will be there watching your marriage grow. And you will be there in the same way in their lives. A wedding is like a family reunion. It makes sense that when you’re celebrating, you should celebrate all the things while you all have a chance to be together.

I think it would be better to just always ask first, respect the answer, whatever it may be. Don’t be a psycho and just do a surprise or do it when the host says no. But the blanket opinion that it’s tacky or rude and never ok, I just don’t agree.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 21 points 10 months ago

I’m sympathetic to adhd because I have it up the wazoo. It’s not even the forgetting. It’s the “to make me feel guilty” which puts the responsibility for his feelings of inadequacy on me. If he feels guilty it’s because he f’ed up. I’m not doing it to him and it’s a strategic ploy to make me feel ashamed for not just accepting his half assed effort.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 23 points 10 months ago

I have tried this. Unfortunately when you run a house, things need doing, whether you want to do them or not. So although in principal this makes sense, in the end it just makes more work for the person who is running the house. I have two kids that need to eat. Hell, I want to bloody well eat. Why should we all live in filth so that his ego isn’t bruised when I point out he didn’t do his very minuscule bit ?

This would work with roommates though.

53

I’m getting tired of being the household beast of burden. Last night I decided to try and make just ONE damned chore in the house equitable. I assigned one kid to empty the dishwasher, the other to fill it, and my husband to wash whatever large items wouldn’t fit in the dishwasher. We discussed it. He agreed it was fair. I HATE a dirty kitchen and can’t cook when it’s filthy and I’m tired of doing all the cleanup before slaving away at the stove and then repeating.

Spoiler: he did not wash the dishes. He played video games and then went to bed. I washed them this morning.

I was mildly annoyed (read this happens constantly so I’m used to it) and told him just now that since I washed those dishes, could he please put them away. He’s doing that now, but his response has me fucking fuming.

“Why wouldn’t you just wait until I washed them? Why did you HAVE to do the dishes just to make me feel bad about it?”

I was mildly annoyed before and now I’m just fucking furious. He has no idea why I would even consider that manipulative. I’m so mad right now I can’t even find the words to productively explain to him why that statement was so offside.

Help me, sisters. I can’t even find the words.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 48 points 10 months ago

I’m so torn. On the one hand this guy is a massive piece of shit and he deserves to be publicly ridiculed and shamed. On the other hand, getting old is scary as fuck and I feel some way about mocking someone about a clear neurological issue.

This whole thing just gives me the ick.

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 30 points 11 months ago

This is good. I’m going to try this.

390

Ok, I have no idea why this bothers me and I don’t even know what to call it. My husband is a “come here” guy. Something he thinks is interesting and wants to show me - hey, come here! Nuclear apocalypse - hey, come here! Why the hell wont he just tell me why he wants me to get up, trudge to wherever he is, so that he can reveal the surprise like some sort of performative art ? I never know if it’s going to be legitimate, a disaster, or something stupid. The walk to wherever he is is insanely stressful because the whole time I’m running through all possible horrible scenarios (we’ve had a lot of issues at the house lately so I never know if I’m going to find water in the basement or raccoons in the attic or a hole in my foundation, or just him looking at a funny cat video). I’d rather he say “hey, babe, something is happening wherever/whatever, come see this.” Instead I have to have the whole performance and reveal and I fucking hate it. Anyone else know what I’m talking about or am I just mental ?

[-] Saraphim@lemmy.world 22 points 11 months ago

Trust me, our minds are equally blown by how your brain works. Like, what ? It’s automatic ? How does that even work? For me, automatic is things like clenching my teeth or flinching at a certain type of sound, but I wouldn’t call that a habit. For me, a habit is something I can’t stop the impulse for, like smoking. All daily practical functions are intentional or not at all. Even “routines” are just forcing yourself through the checklist, it’s never automatic. You’re like fucking robots I swear.

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Saraphim

joined 11 months ago