being a stickler for timekeeping
I have ended budding relationships because they had no respect for timekeeping. I have shit to do, a schedule to keep and sever ADHD that needs me to schedule out my day to function and people who refused to care about that are selfish. Please respect other people's time.
I didn't enjoy the Enders Game series, but I did enjoy the Alvin Maker series, and it blows me away with how far that man's personal beliefs are from that of his books. Years ago I used to work with a girl who's family was close friends with his (same Mormon community and all that). She saw one of his books in my back pocket and went on a tirade about how people are unfair to him (because of the horrible things he said about his beliefs) and I immediately lost interest in hooking up with her like we'd been flirting towards.
Stormlight Archive by Brandon Sanderson. The whole series really. The overall theme is change/growth. The books are chonky, and that gives him the room to do what he does best: character work. There's a range of characters with a broad spectrum of personality types and issues, so it's easy to find something that you relate to. Main characters with depression, PTSD, complicated pasts. And while they do grow and improve, it's definitely more realistic than a lot of books I've read. It's not easy or a straight path to getting better, and sometimes they stumble. But the books do a great job of showing that those things are completely normal and part of personal growth. The people around them give them the support we all wish we had, giving a good model for how we can support those in our lives.
Just a couple quotes that have stuck with me for years:
From Words of Radiance: "Keep cutting away at those thorns, strong one, and make a path for the light."
From Oathbringer: "It’s terrible,” Wit said, stepping up beside her, “to have been hurt. It’s unfair, and awful, and horrid. But Shallan . . . it’s okay to live on." ... "Wit?” she asked. “I . . . I can’t do it. He smiled. “There are certain things I know, Shallan. This is one of them. You can. Find the balance. Accept the pain, but don’t accept that you deserved it.”
That's literally all work in capitalism. You use your time and body to do things for other people in exchange for money. We're all prostitutes, only a few of us have sex for it.
And some people don't view sex that way. And sex work isn't just about having an orgasm. That's what masturbation is for. My understanding is that people who frequent sex workers do it for the human connection. That doesn't mean an emotional connection, but human touch and physical intimacy are important for all human's mental health. I've heard stories from sex workers where the customer doesn't even end up wanting sex but to talk a bit and have someone hold them for a bit. Usually they prefer the respectful ones who just want sex with a human and leave though.
Why do you hate sex workers?
Is it typical to give a whole run-down of your sexual history when dating? Like, I've mentioned previous encounters or exes when it comes up, but rarely near the beginning of the dating process. In my experience people tend to not have those discussions. Not because it's bad but because it doesn't matter. When I meet a new woman and start seeing them, I don't need to hear about or care about their past relationships unless it's something they feel they want to share for whatever reason.
It sounds like you don't think sex work is immoral, so I wouldn't bring it up unless it's something that would actually affect your current relationship. If sex is casual enough to commodify then it's not something that would be brought up when getting to know someone. Do you also give them a run-down of every meal you've ever bought at restaurants?
I think it fucks up the marriage (divorce) racket for women due to the fact it’s simply cheaper and a lot less hassle.
If people are getting married just to have sex, they probably shouldn't be getting married in the first place. And I can't imagine that the marriage for that woman would be great.
Gonna be honest though, your phrasing kind of gives off "sees women as pieces of meat to fuck" energy. And while we're here, plying women with alcohol doesn't sound super consensual to me. If she doesn't want to fuck you sober, don't do it.
But if it's illegal there wouldn't be legal brothels around?
And I haven't followed through but I've looked into prostitution in my area through various means. There do seem to be fairly moral options in my opinion. People who work independent and interact directly with the customer and they keep all the money. They have their own space to meet and they have the option of refusal at any time.
I'm not saying you're doing this intentionally, or that what you're saying is harmful, but I do worry. It feels like you're demonizing an entire industry and adding to the idea that it's immoral unless done through brothels. Sex work is work, and while often people end up there out of necessity, that's not much different than any other job people work these days. I would say that people who knowingly pay for sex work where the worker doesn't have their full autonomy is, at best, selfish and shortsighted.
Or are you saying that because it's a crime, by paying for it they're contributing to the sex worker also doing something illegal and that's bad?
Hold up. I'm not super experienced in reading studies, but I can read.
At best this is correlation. HRV increasing for these men doesn't mean a high HRV is required to be good at chess.
Sample size of 16... And only male.
HRV was reduced in participants who achieved worse results. This could indicate the possibility of HRV predicting cognitive performance
If reduced HRV means lower cognitive performance and women have, on average, lower HRV, you're saying women are less smart. At least in chess. I think that's bullshit and this study isn't incorporating enough/the correct data to show anything you're stating.
But here is one: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763411002077 that links HRV with stress response
And another: https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0149763419310292 That shows women's HRV responds less severely to stress.
Both meta-analysis, not a single data point.
So maybe men are just shit at dealing with stress and that's why their brains go haywire during competition. But it's so gracious of you being so kind to women and giving them a space where they can play among equals on a "MORE level playing field."
By your logic, they should just be testing people's HRV and ranking them that way so they all are on even ground. Give those dummy men a MORE level playing field.
Fanta's creation was a result of American companies cutting off business with Germany during WWII. Coca Cola stopped sending ingredients to the local bottling plant in Germany but the ones there still wanted to work and make money. They took the ingredients they still had access to and made a new drink, Fanta! Once the war was over and Coca Cola made contact with them again they liked the new drink and just made it part of their brand.
I had to stop telling this normally as it tends to make people hate me for making them feel bad about drinking Fanta. I tell them it's fine. I drive a Volkswagen. But they still feel gross about it so I stopped telling people or at least tell them that they may not want to drink Fanta anymore and give them the choice.