Triasha

This is so hard.

First, it's OK to distance yourself from "I love you, but I can't support what you are doing."

My mother was devastated when I came out. But after seeing that I was serious about transition and she could either get on the boat or be left behind, she decided that she should offer some help with clothes and dressing nice. She introduced me as her daughter these days. She hasn't said anything shitty in over half a decade.

Second isolation is ok for safety, but not a long term strategy. Be nice to people, ask for help when you can, and you should meet women that will help you. Seek out queer spaces and navigate them as best you can. A trans woman taught me 95% of everything I know about makeup. My wife taught me nails when we started dating.

I'm sorry you are being hurt. It's not fair and you don't deserve it. Feel free to pm me if you ever want to chat, or vent, or share your stories. I love yo tell my own.

I like the change. Both more inclusive and more exact.

Why would you be faking it?

What evidence do you have that you are trans?

What evidence do you have that you are cis?

Do you want to be trans?

Those are the starting questions?

Ok, so, you have first part down, give yourself chances to meet new people.

Next, it gets harder. Be nice, be interesting. Be funny, helpful, some combination of the above to give people you interact with positive memories/feelings for you. If you can swing it, be physically attractive. Do your makeup, wear nice clothes, etc. All this is just to get a good vibe.

Next you need time. Someone you have met three times who was nice and dresses well is an acquaintance. Someone you have been gaming/book grouping/camping with for the past 3 years who is nice and funny is a friend. Consistency is key.

Finally, if you have doubts, ask yourself the question: "would a friend act like this?" This goes for both you and them. If they call you up at 2AM because their car broke down, a friend would go help them.

If they invite you to do hard drugs on a work-night, they are not acting like friends, they are acting like addicts, and going out with them might be fun, but it will hurt you, and friends don't hurt their friends.

Friends don't always take and never give. So bring drinks to the meetup, but also don't be the only person that always brings the drinks. Etc etc, details depend on your circumstances.

I hope this helps someone.

My dad fell out of my life a couple decades ago and hasn't made much effort to be a part of it since.

I think it's great that you are spending time to learn about your daughter's.... Queer forrunners? Whatever we are to her.

Truly, I hope she doesn't really need us. Supportive parents gives her the best chance for that, I think. I hope that by the time she is leaving school and building her own life and identity, being trans is just a tiny part of her, and barely even noticable, because the fear and the barriers that we face today have fallen away.

I hope she learns about trans day of remembrance from a history book, because we don't need to hold it anymore.

I doubt it, but I so desperately hope that's the world she grows up to explore.

I like the change.