USSMojave

Someone needs to put this text into a Star Wars style opening crawl

I always spritz some witch hazel and then once it dries, rub in aloe gel (like for sunburns)

There ain't no party like a Lizcutus party because a Lizcutus party is MANDATORY. RESISTANCE IS FUTULE.

Maybe that was true in the past but not anymore https://www.cbsnews.com/news/surfers-killed-mexico-what-we-know-jake-callum-robinson-jack-carter-rhoad/ Mexico is a failed state

Glass would also make a much cleaner cut than a bullet, drastically reducing the time to heal

As a white person in a committed relationship with a black person, no. It's always a trap! Never say it! (Jk I know everyone is different, but I will never)

Mmm yes there's the milquetoast English reasoning that is holding your country back. Have fun!

They're available now fyi

Well that's upsetting

Twink = a stereotypically feminine and waifish gay man, with usually a low amount / no body hair. Source: me, a homo

Not sure where burgers come in. Might have been someone making a joke