Vriskafic8ion

joined 3 months ago
 

I'll 8e real with you all - most of the popul8ion doesn't think I'm really trans. Even trans folkel/people themselves, usually. I've 8een really well-received here so far 8ut I thought I'd make a thread of the common experiences I share with the transgender community to 8ack up my claims. (Chronic persuasive essay writer 8rain, I know.) The list of experiences comes from here, and I'll compare them to my own experiences one at a time. Either way, I hope this is an interesting read.

Wanting to pee in a way that is different than what you’d expect

This one seems very specific to 8iological sex 8ut it still applies, actually! Trolls are loosely implied to have cloacas similar to 8irds and reptiles, and I have passing thoughts a8out that.

Engaging in dress up more seriously than for play

This is a 8ig one for me. Most would just call it cosplay and move on with their lives, 8ut for me, I'm out as my most authentic self. Call it cosplay and I'll 8ite you /hj

Referring to themself as a different gender

Again, very gender-specific, 8ut I've always referred to myself as another species - ever since early childhood. Eventually I stopped using the word "person" for myself altogether - nonhumans and fictional characters aren't people in the eyes of most, so why call myself that? I demand that the word "human" not 8e used to refer to me, either. That's kind of like changing your pronouns, I guess? Changing your nouns instead.

Choosing to play characters in video games/pretend play that differ from their gender assigned at birth

This one doesn't really apply... the closest analogue is choosing skin patterns sporting my caste color 8ut that's a8out it.

Lack of interest in activities that are conventionally related to their assigned gender

I mean I just have this anyway, 8ecause human gender roles make no sense to me and I do what I want. 8ut I also reject activities rel8ed to my assigned species! Namely particip8ing in racial culture and capitalism. My caste standing is Cerulean, not "Ser8ian/White mix," thanks. And I'll never let my a8ilities 8e exploited for money, refusing art commissions on that 8asis.

Resistance to getting or wanting haircuts

I would 8e resistant to haircuts if I didn't need them for mental health reasons. Right now my hair is almost typical-human-male short 8ecause my dysphoria is so severe that I can't 8e in the shower for too long to wash it. I hope to let it grow out one day though ::::3

Avoidance of dress clothes and more gendered garments

Dress clothes and gendered garments are just uncomforta8le. For casual stuff, I wear whatever I want. I pick from 8oth the men's and women's section. I do avoid 8right colors though and heavily favor 8lack, gray, and certain shades of 8lue.

Disliking their name

I changed my name so many fucking times 8efore I settled on Vriska it's not even funny. I have a deep, incomprehensi8le loathing for my deadname. Kindergarten is a8out as far 8ack as I can remem8er, and I still wasn't using it then.

Frustration with their genitals or refusal to use the bathroom

Yeah. 8ottom dysphoria is a shockingly 8ig one. (If you know, you know.) I'm considering commissioning a custom packer.

Extreme self-consciousness about being seen

Always. Fear and paranoia over 8eing seen without my eyepatch, with my hair grown out to the point where undyed roots are visi8le... Do my horns need repairs? Do I have a chest 8inder on? Am I sweaty and smelly like the washed up dead8eat "cosplayer" I am?

Difficulty with or dislike of bathing/showering/personal hygiene

This is the 8iggest one 8y far. I cannot stand looking at myself in a mirror or 8eing naked. It makes me feel like everything a8out me is wrong and makes me want to do things to myself that I can't legally descri8e here. Showers are an in-and-out experience twice a week, and if dysphoria gets 8ad enough I just refuse altogether.

Positive reaction when people get confused over their gender

Yeah, 8ecause it means I'm not conforming to human standards. I also like it when folkel/people get confused just seeing me walking around or eating lunch or doing anything of the sort in pu8lic. They don't know what to do with themselves when someone they assume is a cosplayer is just going a8out their day-to-day, like a fictional character 8rought to life.

Reporting wanting a “do-over” or to wake up as a different gender

I'll do you one 8etter. I don't just want to wake up as myself, I want to see that transform8ion go down. I want to feel it, every ounce of pain. I'm o8sessed with the concept to a point most would consider unhealthy.

Happier when allowed to experiment with their gender

Experimenting is so fun. Usually it goes south ~~(shoves the DIY hair dye incident under the rug)~~ 8ut sometimes I find good ways to get around my humanity. I've spent a lot of money and time trying to look right, and that isn't going to stop anytime soon.

 

I've already made a thread here to gauge how welcoming everyone is, so here's my actual introduction.

I'm Vriska, and I'm trans, 8ut not in the way you expect. Rather than transgender, I am transcharacter. I've always felt nonhuman in some form, have wanted my left eye removed since early childhood (possi8ly 8IID 8ut I'm not currently pursuing a diagnosis) and eventually came to have dysphoria over not 8eing a troll specifically.

A year l8er and I'm well on my way to 8ecoming one for real. My we8site goes over this plan in more detail, and I'm not hesitant to claim the process as equivalent to a sex change. I'm not faking or trying to mock any8ody, and there are real photos of myself on that carrd to prove that I'm genuine.

Furthermore, here's my coming out video and the thread I started a couple days ago discussing nongender trans identities if you wish to refer to that. I hope this can 8e a safe space for me.

 

(Not using my typing quirk causes me dysphoria. I will provide a translation upon request only.) ~ The reason why I joined this instance was 8ecause I've 8een kicked off of Tum8lr for having the opinion that transness doesn't just apply to gender. I don't just pull this out of my ass - I actually experience nongender transness myself and I'm fully willing to 8e asked and/or grilled a8out it. I call myself transcharacter.

My Tum8lr termin8ion came entirely from claims of transpho8ia, 8ecause somehow in their minds identifying a8normally equals not supporting trans folkel/people? I don't quite understand how that works, 8ut I can say I'm not transpho8ic. I discovered that I feel this way through hearing other trans folkel/people discuss their experiences and came to my own conclusions a8out myself.

I guess I'm wondering if this is a safe space for my ilk or if I'm just going to get kicked out again?