Whats_your_reasoning

joined 1 year ago

There needs to be something about so-called "junk DNA" added to this.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 6 points 11 hours ago* (last edited 11 hours ago) (1 children)

Oh snap, you're me.

As an agendered pansexual, the wildest thing to me about the trans/cis divide is actually feeling that strongly about having a preferred gender. I simply can't fathom caring hard enough to put up a fight about it. I default to "female" because I was AFAB, but if someone calls me by a different pronoun, it's whatever to me.

Now let me be clear - just because I don't feel gender for myself, doesn't mean I can't respect and support those who do feel strongly about their genders.

Bonus mini-rant

I wish I didn't have to make an announcement pointing that out. Something changed in the past decade or so, whereby if someone simply states a non-standard experience or quality about themselves, people now assume that they must be "against" the standard experience/quality. It's frustrating and unconductive to conversation when people assume every comment must be a prelude to an argument. There used to be an assumption that people were conversing in good faith, but lately there's been a shift. To agree with those different from you is no longer treated as the default, and I find that very troubling.

And as a reference to this comment, this post was fueled by unmedicated ADHD, autism, and cannabis (and a bit of frustration, since I accidentally closed the window after the first time I wrote it, so I had to write it twice.)

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 16 points 21 hours ago (1 children)

(Women used to use bumble a lot but like 90% of them were always marked as “just looking for friends” rather than hookups on their profiles)

I'd just like to say, as a woman who used dating apps a lot in my young 20s, I didn't put "looking for hookups" even when that's what I wanted. If a woman puts on her profile that she's looking for hookups, some guys become scarily entitled. For some reason some people think "wanting a hookup" means "I will fuck anyone who asks." Which is... quite the bizarre leap. Add in, such profiles get inundated with messages - some guys will react poorly if ignored, while others will react poorly if responded to but then rejected. It's a damned if you do, damned if you don't situation, with some unhinged folk who have your picture, name, and know what town you live in.

I quickly realized it was a bad idea and never chose that option on a dating profile again.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 7 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

In hands on the ground in the kids hair.

I feel like there's a typo here, but 7 people have upvoted you so far so maybe I'm missing something.

Edit: Ohh, you meant that the cigarettes should be "in hands, on the ground, in the kid's hair." (Which is true.)

I'm worried that if we become dependent on ads, then we also become beholden to the advertisers. I don't want to have to have to use neutered words like "unalive." Give companies an inch, and they'll take a mile. I'd rather avoid the risk of ads controlling my internet completely.

But it seems we're on the same page about decentralization. There could be ad-sponsored instances for you and user-sponsored instances for me, and we can all get what we prefer. We all win when there are more choices available.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 4 points 2 days ago (2 children)

This one little paragraph just explained my mom, myself, and the reason the relationship between us is so contentious.

She grows ever more closed-minded every year, while I attempt to learn a new skill every year. We never saw exactly eye-to-eye, but we're now at a point where we might as well live in different universes. :(

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 4 points 3 days ago (1 children)

Thank you for your service, Rex Banner

I'm in the US and I have to support this analysis. I dated someone from Canada when I was younger, and at first he expressed the same thought as the poster above - he didn't hear the difference, so he didn't get it.

Until he came to visit me in the states. The difference between how his dad and my dad talked was so apparent, the stereotype just "clicked." To say "aboot" is definitely an exaggeration, but in all fairness, it's really hard to repeat a sound that isn't in your native dialect. There is no US-English equivalent for the "ou" sound in Canadian English "about."

It's like when a Japanese speaker uses a Z sound instead of English TH - it's not because Z is exactly what they hear when an English person says TH, but because the TH sound doesn't exist in Japanese at all. In both cases (and so many more across the world), speakers substitute non-standard sounds with ones they already know.

It’s ok when it’s hidden

I mean, it's not okay with me, I just don't feel like we have a choice anymore.

I think of "the line" as the event horizon around a black hole. You can recognize it from a distance, but it's not like there's a physical barrier you go through when you pass it. That means that if you were actually falling into the hole, you wouldn't necessarily know when you've past the "point of no return." It's all just more freefall (and eventual spaghettification) from your point of view. Only those on the outside, looking in, could see that you're already full and truly screwed.

I think we passed the event horizon long ago. Anyone talking about "going back to normal" (as I've seen some politicians say) is depressingly naive. There is no turning back - the only way out is through.

[–] Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world 46 points 6 days ago (6 children)

As someone agender, I see gender as a performance, and sometimes I just don’t feel like acting.

 

The burrito bowl I got for lunch today was a bit too spicy for me. Afterwards, my nose got very runny. It’s not the first time this happened, so I decided to look it up. Lo and behold, there is a term for this!

ETA: I didn’t choose the thumbnail, it generated automatically. Sorry if it seems irrelevant to the post.

 

I'm not sure how or why grape became the default. For the longest time, I thought I didn't like PB&J. But ever since trying it with strawberry instead, I understood the appeal. It's so much better, and now I find it weird that the combination isn't more common.

 

There’s a guy on our dog walking route that put up several Trump flags last year. My wife and I actually wound up having an interaction with him because he was spying on us through his cameras and got mad that we referred to the flags as embarrassing and said that Trumpism was a cult.

By mid-April, he’d pulled down all the flagpoles and didn’t even take the flags off them, just laid the poles with flags wrapped around them in the dirt by his driveway.

In May I actually talked with him. Initially I had no intention of trying to be nice to him - he just had done something sort of shitty a few days before (encouraging his dog to bark at our dogs). I was going to be like “Look, if you wanna call me gay slurs over your ring camera, that’s fine, but don’t encourage your dog to be hostile to mine.”
But somehow he tied his dog to military service, and while I was fully prepared to connect the lack of a veteran license plate to his statement to call him a liar and a Reddit ninja, he fielded the license plate question and said that he’d suffered a TBI that resulted in an appreciable percentage of brain dying, and that made him unable to be rational when he felt any sort of threat or insult. So he didn’t use the military plates, because he’d had negative experiences with motorists while using them.
I don’t know if I believe that - it seems dumb on the part of the other motorists. But I’m not willing to keep pressing for the sake of picking a fight. I’ll throw a barb, but not over-extend myself. It’s just not worth it.
So I listened, and we chatted - for like an hour and a half. My wife left after a few minutes with the dogs. We talked about politics, the world, our community, and how fucked everything is. He supported Trump because of the 2016 (Obama) economy. He believes in women’s rights. He is conservative, anti-immigrant, and believes in stronger policing. I told him I believe in increased social support, so folks like him can get out of the VA benefits trap. I told him I think the way to stronger communities is through stronger schools and increased civic engagement - more pride, less punishment. He even asked if we’d be willing to help train his dog better, because he notices that ours don’t bark at other dogs, and don’t pull on their leads. I told him I’d have to think about it, and ask my wife, since she’s the one who really had the patience to get our dogs where they are.

We parted - not as friends - but certainly not as enemies. Just - neighbors with a better understanding of each other.

 

Before I start, I would like to remind those coming from All that you are in an ADHD community. Our "normal" may not look like your "normal," and by being here you might be exposed to new perspectives. Please be respectful.


To "Pin" an Idea

I've brought this concept up in various comments here and there, but I figured the topic deserved its own post. Like many of you, my in-person conversations tend to branch out. My "train of thought" gets derailed frequently, and if I'm talking with neurodivergent friends, our thoughts tend to scatter like dandelion seeds in the wind.

Then one day, I had a friend who started saying, "I'm putting a pin in that," during our conversations. What they meant was that they had a tangential thought that they wanted to share, but they didn't want to throw me off what I was saying. Mentioning that there was a "pin" not only helped them remember that they wanted to share something, but informed me that there was more they wanted to say - in case they forgot the pin, I might still remember. In this way, the "pin" acted as a verbal post-it note when we were unable to actually write things down.

Since then, I've adopted the idea and found it helps cut down on a lot of frustration. I've shared it with other friends, and it's even evolved for us, going from a mere mentioning of "a pin," but to "pinning" specific words that would help conjure the specific thought we want to recall.

For example
Say one person is telling a story about taking their dog to the beach. The idea of the beach makes you think of crabs, which reminds you of a funny story revolving around hermit crabs you used to have. So you might put your hand up, wait for a pause, and say, "I want to put a 'pin' on the word 'hermit crabs.' I have a story to share afterwards," and let the previous conversation resume. Having "pinned" a word that points straight to the idea you want to share, you have a metaphorical "scaffolding" to hold your thought onto, making the transition between topics go more smoothly.

In my experience so far, this has not only helped my friends and me to finally finish more of our stories successfully, but we've also become more mindful of each other during conversations. It's easier to pay attention to a speaker when you're not desperately trying to hold onto a thought that, like a balloon on a windy day, constantly attempts to escape from your grasp. By making a "pin," now everyone in the conversation has a hand on the balloon string - allowing you to focus on the moment more without worrying about your thought flying away.

It may take practice to get into the habit, but it's been worth it for me. Anyway, I just wanted to share this technique. Hopefully someone finds it useful. 🙂

26
ROAR (lemmy.world)
submitted 4 months ago* (last edited 4 months ago) by Whats_your_reasoning@lemmy.world to c/justpost@lemmy.world
 
 

I’ve occasionally noticed ordinary comments with zero upvotes to them. Yet, our own comments are upvoted automatically whenever we make them. So for comments to have zero upvotes, either something I don’t know about is happening, or there are people who downvote their own contributions.

I can’t help but wonder, why? It seems like extra effort without a clear reason.

 

President Donald Trump revealed on Thursday at the National Prayer Breakfast an executive order instructing Attorney General Pam Bondi to seek out and prosecute "anti-Christian bias."

"To confront such weaponization and religious persecution, today I'm signing an executive order to make our Attorney General, who's a great person — she's going to be a great Attorney General — Pam Bondi the head of a task force, brand new, to eradicate anti-Christian bias," Trump said. "About time, right? Anti-Christian bias. Yeah, never heard of that one before, right?"

"So many times you hear, but you don't hear the anti-Christian bias," he continued. "The mission of this task force will be to immediately halt all forms of anti-Christian targeting and discrimination within the federal government, including at the DOJ, which was absolutely terrible."

Trump suggested the FBI and IRS were "terrible" for targeting Christians.

"In addition, the task force will work to fully prosecute anti-Christian violence and vandalism in our society and to move heaven and earth to defend the rights of Christians and religious believers nationwide," he added. "You've never had that before, but this is a very powerful document I'm signing."

"You get it now. First time you've had it. If we don't have religious liberty, then we don't have a free country. We probably don't even have a country."

 

Honestly, the entire Siren Song of the Counter Culture album deserves a listen (or re-listen, if you're a fan but it's been a while.)


Are we so alone,
So distant,
So forgotten,
As we think ourselves to be?

These are our lives
But did they ever even matter?
Are we worth remembering?

These machines feed on the tears
Of broken lives and dying dreams
We're throwing wrenches in the gears
Our lives will not be lived in vain

When this is all said and done
We spent this life on the run
Judged by the company we keep

Our language, buried inside
These lungs that keep us alive
We breathe so selfishly

Promises we plan to break
Are made in whispered voices
Cause our despair knows many names

We make mistakes
But we apologize with roses
We never stop to smell along the way

These machines feed on the tears
Of broken lives and dying dreams
We're throwing wrenches in the gears
Our lives will not be lived in vain

When this is all said and done
We spent this life on the run
Judged by the company we keep

Our language, buried inside
These lungs that keep us alive
We breathe so selfishly

We fell from the sky today
We melt into balls of clay
We sell ourselves everyday
Don't tell me how to live this way

Pushed so far to the edge
We teeter just on the brink
You can lead me to the bloodbath
But you can't make me drink

As these machines feed on the tears
Of broken lives and dying dreams
We're throwing wrenches in the gears
Our lives will not be lived in vain
My life will not be lived in vain

Lyrics source

 

I recently began using concentrates and I'm still exploring different types for the first time.

Recently I got some budder, but I've been having difficulty getting it into the ring. I have a metal tool (originally designed for tobacco, iirc) with three different tips, but it isn't cutting it for this. Although sugar clumps together well and is easy to drop into the ring, so far budder has not been cooperating. It sticks to the tool, it doesn't stick to the ring easily, and I usually end up having to use my fingers (then cleaning them with pumice scrub, because nothing else will get the stuff off.)

I figure there has to be a better solution. So what do you guys use to apply concentrates? Are there any particular tools you would recommend? Or are there tricks to this process that might not be obvious to a newbie? Any help would be greatly appreciated. :)

 

I love finding new special interests, but the accompanying sleep-deprivation is real.

 
 

cross-posted from: https://lemmy.world/post/21148286


I was kicked off Medicaid at the start of this year and subsequently lost access to my ADHD and depression medication. In February, I moved to a new area and got a new job, but had to wait several months until I qualified for health insurance through it.

After that point, I had to wait for a weekday when I wasn't working and when I had the mental capacity to tolerate back-to-back disappointing phone calls... all without medication that would make the process significantly easier to tolerate. These are only the calls I've made today.

Finally, FINALLY, I have an intake appointment scheduled.

It's absolutely shameful how much a struggling person is expected to do in order to access basic mental health care.

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