emberinmoss

joined 1 month ago
[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 2 points 12 hours ago

It was some terrifying stuff. The vision Fiver has. Holy crap. Even the intro with Frith and the animals...it was dark but epic. Young me was scared shitless, but older me kind of liked it (And was also scared shitless).

[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 1 points 15 hours ago

I'm not sure why the big white square appeared but. You guys should listen to this. It's a cover from a Sheryl Crow song in Inuktitut. I'd never heard the original, but when I first heard Elisapie's version I loved that it had that slow, angsty sound reminiscent of 90s singers like Sheryl Crow. If you're into that style, give her a listen.

[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 1 points 16 hours ago

Oh Jesus. All I can think about are the dried microdroplets containing fecal matter covering all those photos. I mean this could work in a hallway or a parlour or sitting room. Bathroom though? Hmm.

[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 2 points 19 hours ago (1 children)

Really? Omg, that's a relief. I was thinking, "Wait, if it's arse, the e is missing? Unless they meant the Ars Goetia". I'm a nerd for demonology.

 
[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 15 points 22 hours ago (3 children)

Yes. Either him or AOC would have been great. It's not okay that they were blocked. I'm not okay with it.

[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 2 points 22 hours ago

I'm sorry things have been hard. It's okay to not be okay. And don't worry, I only saw this two post days later, so we're even.

Well. I am having fun with paranoia. I keep being pulled out of sleep. I'll just wake up for no reason and then not be able to go back to sleep. Then I make the mistake of going online, and I see allusions of reference, inside jokes and hidden meanings in every. single. thing. I hear a girl in my head screaming at me to stfu, either far away outside or in my head. It's like tinnitus but verbal abuse. She's doing it right now. It almost never stops. I feel hated and like I should perish. I'm low functioning and have been for a while, can't clean my space because I can't think clearly enough or focus or remember things. My diet is not great-lots of microwave junk-but at least trying a little bit. Like I'll make a lazy meal a lot of the time-mac n cheese or ramen, but I'll add in chopped vegetables. It's the best I can do for now. I know how to cook, just can't at this time.

I feel terrible, ngl. My self worth is nonexistent. There is no self worth present. I enjoy drawing but I am a shell of myself. Nothing else has meaning to me. I could walk away from everything and probably wouldn't care. Only things that I still have feelings for are cats, nature, music, and drawing. My belongings have lost their meaning. I feel like I'm in someone else's house that's been abandoned for a long time. I feel watched 24/7, I can't stop thinking about stupid things like the tech bros and brogrammers are all out to get me. Why did this delusion have to be so cringe, I would prefer if it was something more interesting like, I've been chosen by aliens to help create a hybrid race. I did think I had telekinesis when I was a kid for a couple of months. I remember going through acute stress at the time, and I think that delusion was borne out of the need to try to insert some control or magic back into my life where I felt there was none at the time.

I have no shame about sharing this even if it might be ridiculous and batsht crazy and tmi. This is a place to talk about mental health. If people are unsettled by me talking openly about my issues in a mental health support group, then I can't help them with that. Watching Special Books for Special Kids, TED talks and interviews with other folks with mental illness is the one thing that has helped me not feel alone or like an absolute freak.

I have been seriously thinking about going inpatient to get everything sorted. It's rough at the moment. I'm just paranoid about what will happen there, it's the only thing stopping me.

This hit me right in the nostalgia. My Grandma had a trove of pretty cloths and materials with these type of vintage floral patterns. I swear I have seen this at my Grandma's house, which no longer exists and I miss it.

[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 5 points 1 day ago* (last edited 1 day ago)

Heheh, melty cat. Ofc I will join the melty cat covenant.

[–] emberinmoss@sh.itjust.works 3 points 1 day ago (1 children)

I can't wait to see the final result of this one. You do awesome stitch work!

 

Some days you just gotta zomb out a bit with a doll and call it a day.

 

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/35230638

I love drawing so much and it's taken years to get to a point where I'm satisfied enough to share my drawings. Only thing is now there's AI and I'm disturbed by the fact there's so many people who prefer AI generated art and will feel no remorse using it since it is basically an art theft machine. This whole thing has absolutely demolished my mental health over the last few years since AI generators went mainstream. I'm paranoid as fuck and want to get rid of all my current devices but, I still rely on the ipad heavily for drawing and I did the research and there's literally no work around to avoid my art being stolen in some way by spyware or keyloggers or whatever, the US government...the whatever other governments. Hide your data, hide your art. They stealin everybody's art out here. I just want to be able to live my life and enjoy doing what I do without this ugly, uncanny valley shadow following me. There's like a million communities on lemmy I had to block that are dedicated to posting ai generated art, and feels almost like an act of spite like they made the accounts just to hurt real artists, but maybe it isn't. Maybe they really do think it's real art and anyone hurt by it is just too sensitive.

I'm not alright with AI art. It's digital r*pe, it steals people's livelihood (and money) and most sacred, intimate details, and hard work without their consent. But we are all behind screens so people don't understand how it wrecks people who've gone to school or self taught themselves to draw for ten or more years. I've had periods where I had to rebuild my drawing skills because I lost them during bouts of illness. That is a hard thing to do. I know there are people who never do it.
I feel kind of hopeless at this time. My depression is telling me there's no point, because I will never be able to earn a penny off my drawings. But I heard someone say, so what. Do the thing anyway. Birds aren't paid to sing. They just do it anyway, because it feels good. Drawing makes me feel good. And it's really all I can do as a disabled, severely mentally ill and chronically ill person. I can barely contribute to society and it crushes my self worth. Drawing helps make up for it. People don't need art though so they don't really care as long as at the end of the day they have something to jack off to.

Jesse Gender did a good video essay on why AI art is fcked up titled "How AI is Destroying Our Dreams." The people that need to hear this message the most (the ones that love and regularly use AI art generators) are the ones who would reject it with a whataboutism, which isn't a real argument but a shutdown to the simple fact that AI should be used to help people, like you know, cure cancer and be a prosthetic arm for someone in need, that sort of thing. This is a sick trend....it would be amazing for there to be some kind of digital human rights law set in place that prohibits the use of it. Hard to implement something like that in these times. If you use and support AI art generators, you are not much better than Elon and Trump and need to self reflect, you don't have to live like this. If you want to make art, you can. I cherish human made art even more now than I ever did in the past. The art community is welcoming to anyone with the audacity to put a pen to a blank page.

I don't really believe in talent. "Talent" is a combination of factors including persistence, a genuine love of doing it even though it's hard, curiosity and desire to learn, and privilege--I was very lucky to be given the supplies to make art and improve my skills more quickly. My education was paid for, my family supported my desire to draw at an early age. And there was a period in my life where I had space to explore this hobby.

I know there's nothing I can say to change people's minds. But that is what I feel anyway and might as well say it. I have no animosity for people who studied to work with AI for other reasons like exactly what I mentioned--curing diseases and working for the good of humanity. It's likely they didn't sign up for this to happen down the road. AI art generating is blatant lack of empathy. It costs nothing to get AI to generate art. It costs nothing to be kind either.

 

cross-posted from: https://sh.itjust.works/post/35151543

Drawn in procreate. I can't help noticing how blue the sky looks at night when spring comes around.

 

Drawn in procreate. I can't help noticing how blue the sky looks at night when spring comes around.

 

I post sfw art at emberinmoss.bsky.social.

 

If mental health matters, then the mental healthcare system needs to practice what they preach instead of just say things to look good for their psas. There's so many homeless people in my town and I easily see myself becoming one at this rate. Do what you can to take care of yourself. Try to avoid shitty drs and therapists. It's not always easy.

 

I post sfw art @embermoss.bsky.social

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