get_off_the_phone

Better Tate than Taint.

Crab rave anyone?

Do you like Alex Jones?

Hey is me, your cousin. I'm kinda in a jam and need your help. The contractor cut me a huge check after the fire that took everything but the bank won't cash it without proof. I just need $101 for proof and I can pay back immediately.

This is for real.

Thanks.

Donkeyballs

Every time I have a fever, I vividly dream in the style of that dream sequence from Dumbo. Absolutely terrifying.

Sure everyone has heard of Stephen King and most know know of Dean Koontz. But 10 year old me wants to give a shout out to the best of em, R.L. Stine.

Sugar gliders are little rodents, while flying squirrels are generally edible in the home. Section divided multiply G.

Remember those curly telephone cords that stretched out to like 40ft when your mom walked around the house while on the phone and you had to dodge the cord like Catherine Zeta-Jones in Entrapment? And then the cord shrunk back to like 8ft when she hung the phone back on the cradle on the wall. And the next time your mom hung up the phone, the cord was like 10ft long with a bunch of kinks and twists. And the next time she hung the cord was like 12ft long and starting to bunch on the floor. And eventually there was like 30ft of telephone cord on the floor under the cradle that just gets kicked out of the way into the nearest corner and collects dust bunnies until the next time the phone rings and your mom answers and walks all around the house like she always does. (I could keep going but I don't know where it will end.) Remember those curly telephone cords?

You need a curly ethernet cord like that for your watch. It could help to get around.

Also, what model watch do you have that has an ethernet port? My watch works fine but my gf is always complaining about a rock solid connection so I'm thinking about getting a new one.

Ok, maybe I'm ignorant, maybe I found the phrase "body fart" hilarious, maybe both. But can someone please tell me what is the difference between a regular fart and a body fart?

Yeah but I bet they ate their chili with spaghetti.

Has anyone here heard of wall-bong or is it just something my cousins invented?

That and China doesn't have as much water to fire over.