hihi24522

“The Yellow Wallpaper”

It was quite scarring for most of the kids in my 7th grade class.

Also I’ve only just now realized that wallpaper back then could have contained arsenic so going insane from being in contact with it constantly enough to stain your skin is a very real possibility.

Some people even call that “networking”

Yes! Fucking preach! I loathe how many times I’ve been told by even my university that I need to “network” in order to be successful and what they say is “make friends with these people so they can help you get a job” But what I hear is “use friendship to manipulate this person for your own career goals.”

Sure I should talk to my professors and get involved in research, but not because I want the possible job advantage of knowing people in the industry. I should get involved because it’s cool fucking research!

“Scary door” from Futurama

It’s a play on the twilight zone and it’s quite something.

“A casino where I’m always winning? This must be heaven!” “A casino where I always win… I must actually be… IN HELL!”

“No Mr. smith. You’re not in heaven or hell. You’re on an airplane!”

“Help! There’s a gremlin destroying the plane! You’ve gotta believe me!”

“Why should I believe you?! You’re Hitler!”

For those interested: The Scary Door

ANSYS my beloved

I had a friend in highschool who competed in these games. Totally forgot it existed till now. Thanks for reminding me of it

Bro are you actually able to plan and make routines? Because I definitely tried this multiple times only to fail repeatedly until I got meds.

I guess everyone’s ADHD is different, so maybe this works for you and will work for OP, but this kind of advice never worked for me no matter how many times or how hard I tried.

One of the effects of me getting medicated is being able to make phone calls and schedule meetings. Do I still hate that everyone would rather I call and stumble over my words and forget what I’m going to say rather than let me write an email that allows me to clearly and concisely ask my questions? Yes, fuck them for doing that. Hell, it’s stupid and inefficient to try and find times your schedules are both open to have a meeting when you could just write a fucking email and reply to it when your schedule allows. But yeah, anyway, now I actually have enough executive function to make those phone calls and meetings when I have to.

Also here’s a reminder to take your meds because I definitely would have forgotten to take mine if I hadn’t seen this post and remembered.

Unhealthy coping mechanism: take a break, put in headphones, put on the most overstimulating sad/manic/violent vocaloid music, proceed to engage in megalomaniacal fantasies of battle, world domination, and self destruction until you get bored.

Healthier coping method: try to do mindfulness meditations. Doing them even when you’re feeling more normal will make it easier to try when you are. Just trying to take a few deep breaths or focus on breathing could help and at the very least won’t hurt.

Another thing is just venting to someone or writing in like a journal. If something is getting to me or I’m feeling an emotion for no reason and it’s frustrating, venting about it in my journal seems to help me calm down and manage it better.

“Excerpt from the Kamasaura, an ancient reptilian text on sexuality, eroticism and emotional fulfillment.”

Wikipedia disagrees: Roman Sculpture

Most statues were actually far more lifelike and often brightly colored when originally created; the raw stone surfaces found today is due to the pigment being lost over the centuries.

Same. Recently went to Seattle and my family was weirded out that I was almost more enthralled by the massive amounts of concrete structures and huge metal industrial complexes and shipyards than the ocean. Metal and steel structures, even when rusted over just make me feel this surreal calm. There’s also something so beautiful about blackberry bushes growing over brutalist concrete structures, even if it’s just a highway overpass

I’ve been in the same boat and still am from time to time, or think I am. I’ll share my thoughts and even if they don’t apply to your situation maybe they’ll give you some ideas.

What got me into a better, though not necessarily good, state of mind was thinking about killing myself. If you can’t/won’t kill yourself, then you have to keep on living. Once you realize you have to keep living the question becomes what is the better life? Then you can rationalize that obsessing over morality/purpose is not useful especially when you know it doesn’t reach any conclusions.

If you’re spending hours trying to find the “best” thing to do, you’re wasting time that could have been spent doing good things. So really, at a certain point, obsessing over the most moral or purposeful action is really preventing you from doing good rather than facilitating it.

It’s better for you to live in the moment or even give into some (non-destructive) hedonism rather than cycle around in moral distress wasting time and only making yourself more exhausted and unhappy. Sure maybe spending time playing video games or just chillin isn’t the very best use of your time, but it’s better than being in a constant state of moral confusion and discomfort.

When you recognize that you’re having a crisis that’s not going anywhere, choose to let it go because at least you know that will make you feel more relaxed. Try to do something that makes you happy if you need a distraction because making yourself happy is better than making yourself anxious or depressed even if it’s not the very best thing you could do.

I mean Hell, in some circumstances, choosing to make yourself happy instead of something else might be the best thing to do anyway. Happier people are able to think more clearly and act more charitably. Plus, through empathy, the people around you are affected by your mood. So even from a societal, not-selfish standpoint, choosing to be happy and relaxed or be a beacon of hope and laughter for others is much better than being depressed and adding to the melancholy of the world.

Yeah it sucks having a desire for purpose in a universe where there is no objective morality. But if you can’t bring yourself to end it, just choosing to be happy is a more moral option than choosing to wallow in sadness at that fact.

Even if you lived an otherwise average life, just trying to be hopeful and helpful will be better than stressing and obsessing over purpose.

You can also try to see it as a battle if that helps. The world is trying to make you depressed. Fascism and capitalism win if they can make you feel like there is no hope for change, no way to make the world better. Do you want them to win? Or do you want to rise up and fight to the end? Do you want to give up? No! Fight! Scream at the monsters of this world! When others lose hope you can bring it to them! Fight back against the complacency and melancholy and hopelessness of this life! Laugh! Smile! Find joy in the world and in your fellow men! Be a beacon of hope and happiness for those around you! We might lose in the end, the world may fall to pieces, maybe we’ll all die horribly, but you cannot and should not seek to control the world, but you can control your life and how you react to it. Isn’t it better to live a happy life? To die laughing rather than suffering forever? Rage against life. Mock those who try to take your happiness, who try to take your hope. Don’t give them the satisfaction. If you can do that, if you can be happy despite all the bad that surrounds you, that is a good life, a worthy life to live.

Anyway, before I give a list of reasons to keep living, I’d like to note that personally I’m not against suicide. I can’t do it and feel like living is better than not living but that’s just me. I can imagine lives I’d feel weren’t worth living, so I understand euthanasia. That being said, just in case you or anyone needs/wants reasons to live, here are some reasons not to die that might work for you:

• If you give in to the hopelessness that surrounds you, that’s kind of a defeat and I’m petty so I’d rather die fighting than lose like that.
• If life is as rare in the universe as it seems, you are one of the only beings in the entire universe who is capable of experiencing it and comprehending it. Eventually everything around you will be gone. Even the stars will fade, but you have the chance to see them. You have this one chance to experience things that may never happen again. Isn’t it a waste to cut your life short? To leave so many experiences un-lived?
• If you’re worried about morality, the world probably is better with you in it. Don’t give in to the eco-fascist whatever shit saying “humans are the virus.” Chances are any negative environmental impact your living would require is negligible compared to any major country or company. Maybe you dying would lead to people taking more flights or eating more meat just by the butterfly effect, negating any positive effects your death may have had. But see, your impact as a human being, your impact on the lives of others, even if only as a good friend, is certain to be impactful. You can help many people directly even just by being hopeful or letting them vent to you. In my opinion, even just doing those tiny things outweighs whatever chance that your death would be ever so slightly better for the world.

TL;DR: If you’re committed to not killing yourself, then you’re going to have to keep on living. If you’re going to keep on living and want to help/improve the world, just being happy will do that more than spending a lot of time and energy focusing on purpose or morality or the lack thereof would. If you need more reasons to live, thinking of happiness as a battle is a useful option. Fascism and corruption win when people give up hope. Want them to lose? Then fight. Choose to be happy, choose to be hopeful and inspire others to do the same. That is a fight worth fighting and a life worth living.