MEMO: OFFICE OF ALLYSHIP STANDARDS
Effective 6/10/25:
- Straight couples must secure a "Temporary Hetero Permit" (THP) for public handholding.
- Permits require 3 notarized letters of support from trans neighbors (FORM T-9).
FORMAL NOTICE: FLAG CODE REVISION
Per STATUTE PRIDE-7: Failure to display rainbow flags on primary domicile results in:
1st offense: Community service (bedazzling city buses).
2nd offense: Mandatory karaoke to Cher’s entire discography (Enforcement via Firearm)
All Funding secured via "Straight Tears" tax (CODE: ST-2025).
Locke: “Sign here to respect private property.”
Me, falling: “lmao imagine owning a cloud.”