[-] porkchop@midwest.social 19 points 1 month ago

One of my previous cats used to get so stressed in a carrier that he would pee in it. Then, he'd have to get a bath afterwards, making the whole situation even worse for him and us. My partner did some research and bought a couple of soft sided carriers that didn't look at all like hard ones the cat was used to. We unzipped all the sides, decked them out in blankets that smelled like our cat and then liberally sprinkled them with treats. Within a couple of days, our cat had come to think of these as cat houses instead of carriers. When he needed to be zipped up in it, he was docile and willing. He thought of it as a safe space, and it helped lower his stress levels when he was taken outside the house in it. Those carriers are now constantly in use as cat houses in our home. It was truly one of the best cat tricks I ever learned!

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 12 points 1 month ago

One of the skills my dad taught me that I've been the most grateful for over the years that is generally considered a "male "skill is to take things apart and use tools to fix them. My dad has two daughters, so he showed us how to do the stuff he loved. Power tools, electrical work, not being afraid to take out the screw and see how it works and if you can fix it. Not as many things are simply mechanical as they were in the 90's, but it taught me to be curious and unafraid of exploration and capable in a way that continually surprises the people around me.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 39 points 6 months ago

For the non-Brits, who is this guy?

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 5 points 6 months ago

We have Alfred and Mrs. Doubtfire.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 1 points 6 months ago

I have the same problem. Logged out of Jerboa because it was choking on itself and I can't log back in. Been about 36 hours since the whole thing started and 24 hours Ive been unable to log into the app. About to start checking out other apps.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 15 points 8 months ago
[-] porkchop@midwest.social 3 points 8 months ago

A real Jewish-style everything bagel, chive cream cheese, lox, more lox, tomato, sweet raw onion, cucumber, open- faced. Don't have to worry about your breath if it's your last meal!

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 7 points 8 months ago

Paul Simon, Crazy Love. The line is "sad as a lonely, little wrinkled balloon." Even as a kid, I always found that image so evocative.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 10 points 8 months ago

This happened to us a couple of times when one cat went to the vet and came home smelling wrong. The only way we could get the other cat to "reset" was to give the wrong-smelling one a bath.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 6 points 9 months ago

I want to agree with you, but I think the minimum number of ingredients has to be three. Otherwise, the unbelievably sad bowl of iceberg lettuce and Italian dressing that was served to me would qualify as a salad and I simply cannot allow that to be.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 11 points 10 months ago

Normally, I sleep too deeply to remember my dreams. I only remember them if I wake during them. However, if I don't completely awaken, sometimes I can go right back into the dream, but I have some autonomy now and some control over the narrative. Like, I know it's a TV show and I can change the script. I've always been able to do it, I feel like it's a trade off for nearly never remembering my dreams.

[-] porkchop@midwest.social 10 points 11 months ago

We used Hello Fresh. Both my partner and I had basic cooking skills, but were not very good cooks. He was also a very picky eater. Hello Fresh reduced the overwhelming amount of recipes in the world down to a more reasonable number to choose from. As we kept going, we started to see the same techniques, like reduction sauces, happen in new configurations and we started to understand how they work, not just follow the instructions. It also helped my partner overcome a lot of his pickiness by being in control of what recipes we had each week, allowing him to explore new ingredients when he felt comfortable.

1

I'm not sure what I'm hoping to get out of this, but I thought I might shout into the void for a moment. I'm a lifelong Midwesterner, but I've always tended to live in larger, college-type cities with a notable liberal leaning. Two and half years ago, my partner and I moved to central Iowa so I could return to college and get my degree. This was my decision, as was the choice of school. There is a good, relatively inexpensive degree program for an uncommon field, and my partner has friends in the area. I love our home and my school, those choices I don't regret.

But, I hate Iowa so much. It's so overwhelmingly mediocre. Except for the politics, which frankly are abhorrent and are getting worse by the day. It's a cultural wasteland, even in a college city. Even on campus, I don't think Ive ever been anywhere with so many white people, and I say that as a white person. The restaurants have little variation, the shops are all big boxes. Even Des Moines is only the size of Madison, WI, and without hardly any of the personality (yes, the East Village is nice and we love the botanical garden, but that only goes so far). The landscape is flat and unchanging, and the only beauty, the prairie, has almost entirely been stripped away to plant more corn. So much corn across unending flat, treeless terrain.

It also doesn't help that I have been completely unable to make any fiends here. Friendly acquaintances, sure, but not someone I can grab a beer with and kvetch about life with. I'm in my early 40's, as is my partner, and we are happily child-free and non-religious. So, there go two major ways of meeting people around here: kids and church. My partner is from Iowa, although not this area, and has a circle of 5 or so guys that have been friends since college that live in the area and they get together weekly to play games. I am welcome to join them whenever, and I do sometimes, but they are people with his interests, not mine. I've tried Meetup a few times, alone and with my partner. I'm a student, but 20 years older than all my fellow students, and with life and work experience closer to my professors, who I'm not allowed to be friends with. All our neighbors are retired (or close) conservatives with whom we have a polite but distant relationship. I've looked for crafting communities to try to find a hobby group, but only find old lady quilting clubs meeting in churches in the small towns nearby. I'm outgoing and talkative, and have a variety of interests, so I'm not used to being in an environment where I literally can't make any friends.

I'm going crazy in a place I feel like an alien in. I've never been so lonely and felt so isolated in my life, even during COVID. I still have a few years here while I finish my degree, so I have to make peace with my choice and find a way to exist here. Surely there has to be a way for a liberal person to find a community in central Iowa?

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porkchop

joined 1 year ago