rtstragedy

like i only like being referred to as he/him by people who know i'm transfem and are cool with that, if that makes sense?

I didn't expect it to at first, but kinda, I get that, right? Since it's without the baggage of the 'nouns that's usually attached by cispeople.

like there's a strong difference between being he/him-ed by someone who doesn't know/thinks they're misgendering me vs. someone who's he/him-ing me in a way that acknowledges that i'm both transfem and masc. also i just don't like they/them much personally, no real reason just i don't think it fits me

right, yeah, that makes sense!

Oh, do I have the random link for you! I just found this last night: www.pronouns.failedslacker.com/

I. Love. It. Maybe you'll like it too :3 ?

based

Yeah, I kinda feel that way about they/them too (for myself personally, not for others). And I think I know what you mean about the second part, I can't imagine trying to teach people about them.

thank you for sharing!! I'm interested to hear how you feel over time :)

The use of these neopronouns kind of inspire me to aspire to those who came before me, if that makes sense?

damn, that's really cool :)

good bit tbh, ~~can i steal?~~ i'm gonna steal

Oh jesus it sounds like The Actual Worst. I never attended company functions or parties or whatever when I was employed. Not a chance. Goddamn though, fly to the US... I mean fuck that, but damn...

yeaaah not a chance lol, i'm kinda terrified of america tbh

I tried really hard to develop rules for reading people, nowadays I take it case by case. There are no ironclad, hard-and-fast rules for socialising because every person truly is different, neurotypical social norms are just made up things they kind of implicitly agree to.

Yeah, I guess that does make sense. Maybe I'm expecting some kind of global thing when it's really about understanding a person, hmmm!!!!

I try not to worry too much, if some kind of social cue shit totals a conversation, that person was very probably not worth talking to.

Haha, I mean normally I'd agree, but most of my social cue shit is at work ... so if those conversations go poorly, it could be kinda bad

Caffiene is fake I swear......... tea is fake too...

Are you one of those people for whom caffeine has no effect? I know a few people like that, for sure.

I've heard it's quite common for people in our position to get told that because we're able to talk, or make eye contact, or that we're not male, that we can't be autistic. It's frustrating, and part of why I haven't been too keen on official diagnosis.

Yea maybe I should start doing that, I've been thinking about it.

:)

Look at you opening up to people though waow.

One month ago me would be very confused, lol

Oh sheesh, Social Initiatives does not sound fun?

yeah it's like mentoring with people who do jobs Nothing Like Your Job and shit, big yikes to me lol, i just code here, and holiday parties. last year was kind of a disaster for me even if I did like seeing people ... it's a whole thing esp. since i don't want to get covid again and i do not want to fly to America which would be a possibility, and even if it was local last time the vegan option was just lol sold out when we got to the place so uh i had vegetables (they were cooked in butter too and I was too nervous to speak up blegh)

How so, not sure I follow? And do you mean like, projecting your stuff due to lack of concrete information in other matters?

I mean that I used to think that I had the ability to read people, but now that I'm thinking further about it, it's a cobbled together list of rules and ideas that no one taught me, and it's intentionally trying to make up for the piece that is missing underneath it: the piece that understands social norms etc. I don't have it, so it just kinda feels like a missing part, you know? Projecting my stuff is like the best I got in its place

Okay is tea supposed to have brain effects?

I mean, Partner swears by chamomile tea helping him sleep etc. but in this case I was drinking black tea, which has caffeine. Normally it helps, it was marginal today, lol