Overall I think this is well written. I agree with @poVoq@slrpnk.net that the section on picking an instance could be improved, since which instance one picks can be rather important, since federation/defederation is dictated by individual instances.
And a minor typo I noticed:
leaving Mastodon out to try
I assume that should be "out to dry".
As others have pointed out, there's a lot to hate about ads since the industry is routinely dishonest, insulting, obnoxious, deceptive, intrusive, and all manner of unpleasant. I've been adblocking religiously for most of my life for these reasons.
So I think a more interesting question might be the other way around: "What do you like about commercials?"
The only commercials I've ever liked are the ones for local small businesses. The ones with a nonexistent production budget that aren't beating the viewer over the head with blatant lies or dishonest sales tactics.
Adult Swim used to have faux-ad bumpers for the fictional business "Strickland Propane" from King of the Hill, featuring the honest-to-a-fault character Hank Hill as the spokesman, which I felt captured that vibe well.
Rhett and Link also made a funny homage to these kinds of commercials in this classic skit: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vnOyMSEWNTs