throwawaysalami

joined 4 months ago
[–] throwawaysalami@lemm.ee 8 points 1 month ago* (last edited 1 month ago) (6 children)

Not exactly answering the question here but I am wondering about whether or not this counts as inceldom.

So here's the deal with me. I am an ugly person who is only attracted to attractive women. I have tried dating women who were, for a lack of better term, "looks-matched". But even though we actually connected really well I just couldn't develop any romantic feelings for them because of their looks.

Now this has left me in a situation where I am certain I will never get a girlfriend. My beauty standards are just too high. But I do not blame women for this. It's perfectly reasonable for attractive people to want attractive partners. Hell, that's pretty much my standard as well when it comes to dating (except I'm not physically attractive). So whadaya gonna do?

[–] throwawaysalami@lemm.ee 1 points 2 months ago (1 children)

Rape can also happen between consenting people as well. In fact, quite a lot of what is and should be considered sexual assault/rape, is a partner “going too far” or doing something their consenting partner didn’t consent to.

Say one partner (A) did something to partner (B) which B did not consent to initially. B says this to partner A afterwards to which she replies "Sorry, but I was really close." But she sort of promised to not do it again. What would you make of that?

[–] throwawaysalami@lemm.ee 18 points 2 months ago

I knew this post wouldn't be a very "positive" one. But man that's messed up. I think I understand now.

[–] throwawaysalami@lemm.ee 2 points 2 months ago

So you mean like a woman beats (or like really harasses) a man and in order to keep her at ease he relents? (English is not my first language)

[–] throwawaysalami@lemm.ee 3 points 3 months ago (1 children)

Thank you for your advice! The dance party was a ton of fun and I danced with lots of different people!

Just remember that standing around and not talking to anyone is as much a choice as going up to someone and asking for a dance.

This one in particular really stuck with me. And I was surprised how much truth there was to this line ^^

 

Are there some practical things you can do at that point? Or is that the cue you should just leave?

Some context: It's a Latin dance party. Meaning you dance with a partner. I do not have a very much experience with it (about 16 lessons, with half of them being repeats). I go there with some people I know, but am not all too well acquainted with.

 

"Being confident" is dangerously close to straight up bothering people. Plus it only really works if you're good looking.