Self Improvement

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A community which focusses on improving yourself. This can be in many different ways - from improving physical health or appearance, to improving mental health, creating better habits, overcoming addictions, etc.

While material circumstances beyond our control do govern much of our daily lives, people do have agency and choices to make, whether that is as "simple" as disciplining yourself to not doomscroll, to as complex as recreating yourself to have many different hobbies and habits.

This is not a place where all we do is talk about improving "productivity" (in a workplace context) and similar terms and harmful lifestyles like "grindset". Self-improvement here is intended to make you a generally better and happier person, as well as a better communist, and any other roles you may have in your life.

Rules and guidelines:

  1. Posts should be about self-improvement. This is obviously a wide category, and can range from advice, to finding resources, to self-posts about needing to improve in a certain area, or how you have improved, and many other things.

  1. Use content warnings when discussing difficult subjects.

  1. Do not make medical decisions solely because of a discussion you have had with any person here (e.g. whether to take or not take medications; diagnoses; etc.) as we do not vet people. All medical problems should be discussed with a real-life medical professional.

  1. Do not post harmful advice here. If this is seen, then please report it and we shall remove it. If you are unsure about whether it's precisely harmful advice or not but feel uneasy about it, please report it anyway.

  1. Do not insult other users and their lifestyles or their habits (unless they ask, I suppose). This is a place for self-improvement. Critique and discussion about a course of action is encouraged over shit-flinging. Don't talk down to people.

founded 2 years ago
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1
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the fourth and last improvement megathread of June! bonfire

Tomorrow is the last day of June so this is a good time to review our progress from this month and set goals for July. Pride Month is over, get ready for Wrath Month. catgirl-hiss


Some discussion ideas:

- How was your week?
- Do you have some plans for next week?
- Do you have any sober days or streaks?
- How was your June?
- Do you have some plans for July?

Poster caption: "Women Workers, take-up rifles!"

Poster loreThis poster was published in 1920, during the Russian Civil War. It speaks to women Soviets to take-up rifles in defense and support of the Bolsheviks.


Good luck in July! big-honk

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up-arrow I've used SAMHSA before to find a rehab, 2 times now and both times it helped me out greatly so I want to share this with the community for anyone who wants to make the plunge.

3
 
 

@moonlake@hexbear.net's great commrequest to create this comm was here, and the improover thread that inspired it is here. Hopefully, we can make this space a place for comrades to talk about their efforts to improve oneself.

This community's purpose is to gather ways for us leftists to become more effective and self-disciplined, forging healthy habits and setting goals. It is undoubtably true that most problems that we experience are due to systemic issues. We do, however, possess some degree of individual agency that we can exert.

We explicitly reject the narratives of "grindset" and "increasing productivity" which are usually associated with "self improvement" among grifter circles, especially in the context of working for capitalists to earn a wage and giving them even more of your surplus value. If you're in a position to slack off at work and still receive a wage that can support you, then don't work any harder than necessary for those bougie motherfuckers. This is a community that is focussed on self-improvement in every other way, allowing us to become happier, healthier, and more knowledgable communists. I believe that we should, as much as possible and when it is safe to do so without being assaulted by chuds, be role models for communism - compassionate, caring, and hard-working (as said before, outside of the workplace). We should be, as much as possible, friendly and reliable to those around us - somebody other people go to when they need support or are confused about the world. After all:

As revolutionaries, we don't have the right to say we are tired of explaining. We must never stop explaining. We know that when the people understand, they cannot help but follow us.

While revolutionary scenarios in the imperial core are very rare right now, we are entering an incredibly tumultuous global situation in the coming years and decades as American quasi-hegemony is threatened. We must be prepared, and cultivate discipline and revolutionary optimism now, so that we can take advantage of all opportunities that come our way. As our comrades in Palestine and elsewhere are fighting imperialism on the front lines, spilling their blood for a better world, we must not fall into resignation and doomerism. We must not cede the concept of improving oneself and becoming a better person to right-wingers and self-help guru grifters.

We naturally have a lot of overlap with c/fitness and c/theory, as well as other communities. Again, this is self-improvement in virtually every way - whether you want to eat healthier (and ideally go im-vegan), improve fitness (whether that's to be big and muscular, or more thin and lithe), transition successfully via HRT and voice training, stopping doomscrolling on Twitter or Reddit so much in your spare time, stopping smoking/drinking/etc, learning a language - and a dozen other ways that you can improve yourself.

Comrades over at Unity Struggle Unity have put together a list recently on how to become a stronger comrade, including:

  1. Learning a new language, especially that of the largest minority in your country (such as Spanish in the US).
  2. Learn first aid and CPR, as well as how to administer and receive narcan.
  3. Meet your neighbours - either introduce yourself in person, or, if you're shy, write a polite note and leave a small gift. Obviously, sometimes your neighbours are hostile chuds and so shouldn't be engaged with if possible.
  4. Join or start a reading group. Note that @Vampire@hexbear.net and many others have been discussing getting these back on track.
  5. Know where your community resources are, if applicable - such as the closest food pantry, warming shelter, free clinic, libraries, etc.
  6. Brush up on how to protest safely, including from a legal perspective.
  7. Pay attention to local boycotts, as well as larger ones like BDS. Don't cross picket lines.
  8. If you have the time and energy, volunteering in your community is a good way to contribute and socialize with others in your community and build organizational and life skills.
  9. Read theory, and also the history of communist organizing.
  10. Take care of yourself. Eat as well as you can on your budget. Get enough sleep. Go outside, even if just for a walk around the block every day (remember to mask when needed!) Be social, if that helps you.
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Hello comrades and welcome to the third improvement megathread of June! bonfire There is one more full week left to finish the month strong.


Some discussion ideas:

  • How was your week?
  • Do you have some plans or goals for next week?
  • Do you have any sober days or streaks?

Poster caption“The Red Army is bringing liberation to the oppressed of the whole world”.

This poster was issued in 1919 and it contains two emblems of the Soviet Union in use during that period.

The emblem of the hammer and plow (visible in the small red star at lower right) is the earliest Soviet emblem. It was first used in April 1918 as a badge for the Red Army. The hammer and sickle (visible on the flag) was officially recognized in July 1918 when the Congress of Soviets approved it as the state seal.

Not seen on this poster is the crest of the Soviet Union (a hammer and sickle, globe and two shafts of wheat with banners of the Soviet republics). The crest was approved in 1923.

Good luck with your goals! feral-hog

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Hey c/self_improvement.

Right now I’m really hitting a bad part of my journey. I’m seriously doubting my reason to keep going. I put in all this work and I almost never see any reward for it. Can’t lose fat no matter how hard I work out. I’m totally unemployable and while I have a summer gig right now, I can’t live through another 9 months of unemployment and I know that’s what’s in my future because no employer wants to touch me with a ten foot pole.

Right now, I’m looking at taking some college courses. But what’s the point if I’m not top of my class? No employer would want to hire me if I’m not perfect in every conceivable way. I have nothing to offer the world that literally everyone else can’t. It’s like I am ontologically inferior to everyone.

EDIT: thank you so much for all these responses.

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Hello comrades and welcome to the second improvement megathread of June! bonfire It's the middle day of the month, which is a good time to look back on your progress this month and make some plans for the rest of the month.


Some discussion ideas:

  • How was your week?
  • Do you have some plans or goals for next week?
  • What would you like to accomplish by the end of June?
  • Do you have any sober days or streaks?

Poster caption: "Long live the union of workers and farmers, the base of soviet power!"

Good luck with your goals! rainbow-has

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about a month ago i started doing electrical work (4 10s, Monday-Thursday). prior to this i had been working out 3 times a week and getting a lot of stuff done around the house. i still have a few hours of free time in the evenings, how do i not spend it dicking around on my phone?

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cross-posted from: https://hexbear.net/post/5264629

I want to integrate yoga in my fitness routine, because I am pretty weak in balance and stress management. But when I try searching for stuff on it online, I run into two problems:

  1. I get overwhelmed by the amount of content. A Youtube channel like "Yoga with Adriene" has hundreds of videos and dozens of playlists, each covering a different perspective and set of exercises. I don't know from myself what I want, so it leads to me unable to choose.
  2. I either get impatient or roll my eyes at the way yoga is commonly talked about. Even if there's no mention of more spiritual elements, I feel prejudiced against the usually slow pace and mindfulness talk, even though that's precisely what I want to practice.

I have a membership at a small gym, but they don't have any yoga classes, and I don't want another membership for yoga coaching on top of that. Are there ways around this?

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Some insights:

My dad is for sure my no. 1 trigger. He's sick and taking his bullshit out on me which made me super fucking angry and depressed so I took out some money and self-medicated.

18 days is pretty good clean time. My personal best is still 20-something days I need to beat.

I noticed I'm right back to hitting the vape as much as I did before, like my tolerance was still pretty high.

So anyway I'm not going to beat myself up too much given the state of well literally everything and me being a mentally ill addict with very few ways to cope.

10
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the second improvement megathread of June! bonfire


Some discussion ideas:

  • How was your week?
  • Do you have any plans for next week?

poster caption

Victory belongs to us

胜利属于我们

Shengli shuyu women

A steel worker holds the number 40.000.000 吨 (ton), made from steel. The red pennant says 趕上 英国 (Catch up with the UK).

Good luck with your goals! hexbear-gay-pride

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Sometimes, you have to say “no.“

In fact, you should say no a lot more often. As Warren Buffett says, “The difference between successful people and really successful people is that really successful people say no to almost everything.”

The late Steve Jobs agreed. “People think focus means saying yes to the thing you’ve got to focus on,” Jobs said, which “means saying no to the hundred other good ideas.”

But saying no can come at a cost. Say no to a friend’s request and their feelings could be hurt. Say no to an employee and their sense of engagement could be damaged. Say no to a long-term customer, and they may consider looking elsewhere.

However justified, saying no can often negatively impact a relationship.

Unless you say no the right way. Never Reference Time

But first, the wrong way to say no. According to a study published in Journal of Consumer Psychology in 2021, saying, in effect, “I don’t have time” when you decline an invitation or request can cause the person you turn down to feel undervalued and upset, negatively effecting the relationship.

Time excuses are seen as less valid. Less justified. In simple terms, you have the time; you just don’t want to give it to me.

Say you invite me to a seminar. (I get those kinds of requests at least once a week.) If I respond saying, “I’m sorry, but I won’t be able to attend,” clearly that means I’m choosing to do something else. Granted, that’s always the case: Not doing one thing automatically means doing something else.

But without additional context? The researchers found people consider time to be subject to personal control. Which, of course, it is. I have the time. I just don’t want to give it to you. I am clearly choosing something else over your seminar.

Which, again however justified, is a problem. Say a friend invites you to an event. A colleague invites you to lunch. A customer, or supplier, or someone you know, whether professionally or personally, makes a request, or asks for a favor.

The researchers found that no matter how valid the reason, turning down invitations or requests because of a lack of time reflects on how you see the relationship. That is, if you don’t have the time – if you’re not willing to make the time – you must not value the relationship. But Referencing Money Is OK

Oddly enough, the researchers found that using money as an excuse to decline a request won’t spark the same reaction.

If you ask me to go to a concert and I say I don’t have the money, you’re unlikely to be upset. Maybe that’s because money is seen as less controllable as time. Maybe that’s also because my response puts me in a vulnerable position. No one likes to admit their funds are limited, even though at some point, everyone’s funds are limited.

Why “oddly enough”? Because time is also a finite resource. Time is more finite than money. With effort intelligently applied, I can make more money. But I can’t make more time.

Money excuses can also be implied. If you decline a request because you have to work, the financial reason is implied. If you decline to work on a side hustle, the financial reason is implied.

While you can, in effect, decline because you can’t afford it… you can also say no because you’re trying to make money.

The key is to provide greater context. Always Say Why

“Yes” is a complete sentence. “No” is not.

When you decline a request, provide a little more information. Definitely don’t say you don’t have the time. And don’t just say you’re really busy.

Add context. Add detail. Explain why. Maybe you’re trying to meet a tight deadline. Maybe you’re trying to finish massive project. Maybe you’re working longer hours because you’re short-staffed. Maybe you’ve already blocked that time for another purpose.

Ask me to attend your seminar, and I could borrow a line from Wharton organizational psychologist Adam Grant: “Thanks for inviting me, but I’m in the middle of writing a new book and my plate is beyond full.” Granted, that’s a time excuse – but it’s also a valid time excuse. Your Personal Policy

Another approach is to explain that saying no comes from a personal policy. Take me, for example. I don’t post blurbs about new books on LinkedIn. I no longer write forewords or introductions for other people’s books. I don’t speak for free. When people ask, I say no, and explain that I’m not rejecting them – I’m maintaining a boundary I’ve set for myself.

Does that approach ensure no one gets upset? Nope. The people who do get upset are always people I don’t know, and who aren’t interested in building a mutually beneficial relationship. But it does help someone I do know understand why I might need to turn down their invitation or request.

As with nearly everything relationship related, understanding why makes all the difference.

Even if that relationship is with yourself. How to Say No to Yourself

In a study published in Journal of Consumer Research in 2012, researchers created two groups. One group was given a simple temptation and told to say, in the face of that temptation, “I can’t (do that).” The other group was told to say, “I don’t (do that).”

Here’s what happened:

Participants told to say “I can’t” gave in to the temptation 61 percent of the time.
Participants told to say “I don’t” gave in 36 percent of the time.

Then the researchers divided people into three groups and asked participants to set a long-term health and wellness goal. When their motivation inevitably flagged, one group was told to say, “I can’t miss my workout.” Another group was told to say, “I don’t miss workouts.” The control group wasn’t given a temptation-avoidance strategy.

Ten days later, here were the results:

One of the 10 “I can’t” group members stuck to their goal.
Three of the 10 control group members stuck to their goal.
Eight of the 10 “I don’t” group members stuck to their goal.

Saying “I don’t” was extremely effective. But saying “I can’t” was less effective than saying nothing at all.

Why? According to the researchers:

“The refusal frame ‘I don’t’ is more persuasive than the refusal frame ‘I can’t’ because the former connotes conviction to a higher degree.

“Perceived conviction mediates the influence of refusal frame on persuasiveness.”

Getting Personal

In other words, “I can’t” opens up room for negotiation. I want that ice cream (my personal long-term Achilles heel), but I can’t have it. Then again, maybe I could. I could skip breakfast tomorrow. (Even though I won’t.) I could go for an extra bike ride to burn off the calories. (Even though I won’t.) Given enough time, I can turn “I can’t” into “Yeah, I can.”

That’s much less likely to happen when you say “I don’t.” “I don’t” is powerful. Definite. There’s no choice involved. No negotiation to be had.

“I don’t miss workouts” is much more powerful than “I can’t skip my workout today.” “I don’t offer discounts” is much more powerful than “I can’t give you a discount.” “I don’t relax my standards” is much more powerful than “I can’t cut corners on this task.”

“I can’t” leaves room for argument and compromise. “I don’t” does not.

“I don’t” also works when you decline requests from others. I don’t eat dinner after 7 p.m. because I’ll feel bloated and won’t be able to sleep well. I don’t do high-impact workouts because my knees can’t take the pounding. I don’t mentor aspiring real estate investors because they inevitably want more time than I am able to give.

Plenty of people hear “I can’t” and automatically think, “All right, but under what circumstances can you do what I’m asking?” They immediately try to turn no into maybe, and maybe into yes. Before you know it – because you’re a nice person – you end up saying yes.

So just say, “I don’t,” both to yourself and, when appropriate, to others.

12
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the first improvement megathread of June! bonfire

It's the first day of June, a great opportunity to review the progress from last month and make some plans for this month.


Some discussion ideas:

  • How was your May?
  • Do you have some plans or goals for June?
  • How was your week?
  • Do you have any plans for next week?

poster caption: "Our Future - Communism!"

Good luck with your goals! rainbow-has

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Even if there doesn't seem to be progress keep showing up. Showing up and doing the thing is the only way there is an opportunity for growth and betterment. Not doing the thing doesn't create the opportunity for it to get better. Even weird abstract moral, behavioral or even philosophical things require you to "show up" for them. Show up the the thing that it may improve. Even if you "show up" for like five minutes show up for that five minutes as best you can.

Through the power of comradely love and Communism we all gonna make it. Keep showing up. solidarity

14
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the last improvement megathread of 2024! bonfire Special shout out to everybody who checked in to the threads this year.


It's the last thread of the year so let us know how was your 2024! What were your W's and L's this year? Do you have some resolutions/goals for 2025?


Poster caption:

Long live the great unity of all the peoples of the whole nation

全国各民族大团结万岁

Quanguo ge minzu da tuanjie wansui


Good luck in 2025! unity

15
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the fourth improvement megathread of December! bonfire

Only 3 days until Xmas! I hope everybody is couchmaxxing and getting into the festive mood. kropotkin-big


As usual, some discussion ideas:

  • Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
  • Do you have any goals or plans for next week?
  • Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
  • If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
  • Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?

Take care sleepi

16
 
 

The last couple weeks have been a whirlwind. I spent a few days being treated for stress at a local mental hospital. It consisted of mostly processed foods, and moderate doses of Ativan.

After three days of this, I was discharged as fully recovered. I cleaned out my locker at work, turned in my truck keys and went home. I’ve been going to an appointment a day, with mixed results. I am flat broke but my bills are paid thru the end of January. I lost my employer provided health insurance but was able to sign up for something thru ACA since it was open enrollment so at least I have non-employer tied health insurance so that’s cool. I have new work beginning soon.

The counselor I’ve been seeing put me on a low dose of Lexapro (they also wanted me on a an “as needed” dose of Xanax, but I have substance abuse issues so I’m not filling that one).

I’m not better yet, but I’m really trying to get there. I think I have a path in front of me. It’s time to follow it. My doctors think I need to lay off social media, but seeing as this den of iniquity is the only social media I’m on, I reckon I’ll be cutting back a fair amount but not leaving entirely.

If I have interacted with someone here negatively, I am truly sorry. I’m just beginning to sort myself out so I don’t know what to say beyond I am sorry. I’m not that person, and I’m trying to get more distance between me and that person. Please accept my apology and know I’m making an effort to sort myself the fuck out.

I’m cutting back on the processed garbage I feed myself. I’m working out. I’m seeing a counselor. I can’t say I quit social media as I occasionally post here still.. I’m making a conscious effort to curtail/end the mind altering substances I consume. Onward and upward, hopefully.

Anyway here’s Wonderwall, or whatever.

17
 
 

If you have experience with AA, NA, rehab, SMART recovery, or addiction in general let me know. I'm trying to make this comm a safe space for people in recovery too alongside the general improvement people are working on.

18
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the third improvement megathread of December! bonfire


We recently had an influx of new users and I'd love to hear from them. This is the weekly improvement thread where you can say how you're doing, post your Ws and Ls.

As leftists, there are many excellent reasons why we should strive to become the best version of ourselves. This is the space where we improve together and share our progress.

Here are some of our usual discussion ideas:

  • Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
  • Do you have any goals or plans for next week?
  • Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
  • If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
  • Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?

Poster caption: "Conquering Space!"

Good luck with your goals! unity

19
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the second improvement megathread of December! bonfire

I hope your December is going great so far! How was your week? Any plans for next week?


Poster caption: "300 Years Since Reunification of Ukraine with Russia. Our Strength is in Brotherly Friendship!"


Good luck with your goals! unity

20
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the first improvement megathread of December! bonfire

How was your November?

Do you have any goals for December?


Poster caption: Chairman Mao gives us a happy life

Mao zhuxi gei womende xingfu shenghuo

毛主席给我们的幸福生活


Good luck with your goals! soviet-heart

21
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the fourth improvement megathread of November! bonfire


As usual, some discussion ideas:

  • Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
  • Do you have any goals or plans for next week?
  • Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
  • If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
  • Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?

Poster caption: Study the Soviet Union, to advance to the world level of science

Xuexi Sulian, xiang shijie kexue shuizhun jinjun

学习苏联, 向世界科学水准进军


Good luck with your goals! unity

22
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the third improvement megathread of November! bonfire Two more weeks to go, plenty of time to kick some ass!


As usual, some discussion ideas:

  • Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
  • Do you have any goals or plans for next week?
  • Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
  • If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
  • Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?

Poster caption: Unite to achieve an even greater victory!

Tuanjie qilai, zhengqu gengdade shengli!

团结起来,争取更大的胜利!


Good luck with your goals! solidarity

23
 
 

God damn I am so glad I quit smoking.

24
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the second improvement megathread of November! bonfire I hope your month has started well.


As usual, some discussion ideas:

  • Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
  • Do you have any goals or plans for next week?
  • Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
  • If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
  • Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?

Poster caption: "Scatter the old world, build a new world"

Dasui jiu shijie, chuangli xin shijie

(打碎旧世界创立新世界)


Good luck with your goals! unity

25
 
 

Hello comrades and welcome to the first megathread of November! bonfire It's a good time to set your intentions for the month.

As usual, some discussion ideas:

  • Do you have any goals or plans for November?
  • Do you want to share something you've done in the previous week? Everything counts, nothing is too small.
  • Do you have any streaks? For example, "sober for one day." Feel free to post your streak every day in this thread.
  • If you don't have a continuous streak, did you manage to abstain from something for a day or more?
  • Did you come across some useful information or resource that might help others?

Poster caption: "Criticize the old world and build a new world with Mao Zedong Thought as a weapon"

Top right corner: "All erroneous ideas, all poisonous weeds, all ghosts and monsters, must be subjected to criticism; in no circumstance should they be allowed to spread unchecked."

(凡是错误的思想,凡是 毒草,凡是牛鬼蛇神,都应 该进行批判,决不能让它们 自由泛滥)

Good luck with your goals! unity

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