The Onion

“Me no get it,” explained Reform Voter Derek Williams, with a deeply furrowed brow and finger in his ear.

“Nigel won. Nigel get house. Nigel the big boss now?” they queried, with all the political sophistication the Reform party has come to rely on during the election campaign.

“Where Nigel? WHERE Nigel??”

When it was explained to Derek that Nigel won a single constituency, out of 650, and that Reform MPs can actually be counted on one hand, Derek looked ever more perplexed.

“Consti-chewsy? Nigel win election. Not Consti-chewsy! Nigel WIN! NIGEL STOP BOATS!”

At this point Derek began to get agitated, and it was decided it was best to calm him by returning him to his natural habitat inside a Wetherspoons with a copy of the Daily Mail in front of him.

In a suburban home strikingly similar to every other house on the block, local mom Karen Patterson has reportedly issued her 487th consecutive threat that she will undoubtedly not follow through. Witnesses report that it’s not just her two children that know the local mom is full of empty threats, the whole school knows.

“I mean it this time, I will count to three and if you don’t clean up your toys, there will be consequences,” Patterson lied with a conviction that was immediately called into question by both her children and even the family’s misbehaved beagle. Counting to three, which has been a staple in the Patterson household, frequently ends with Karen giving up and scrolling through Instagram on her phone.

Read the rest of the satire news article here at TattletaleTimes.com

In a surprising twist that has sent shockwaves through the educational television community, beloved children’s entertainer Ms. Rachel has officially taken over Mr. Rogers’ Neighborhood. The first order of business? Retiring the iconic overalls for a collection of cozy cardigans that would make your grandma jealous.

The announcement was made during a special episode where Ms. Rachel serenaded the audience with a heartwarming rendition of “Won’t You Be My Neighbor?” leaving millions of toddlers confused and nostalgic adults thrilled.

Read the rest of the satire news article here on TattletaleTimes.com

Almost fooled me, but I think it's satire.Link is paywall free but here's an archive link anyway.